Temp - 19.08.14 in Your Face

So, I've been temping at my old job. Doing the same old shit. Getting pestered every five minutes by the new me, who clearly still has no fucking idea and no ability to retain information, despite having worked there for over a year. I am reminded regularly of all the reasons I was so pumped to finish working there.

BUT, whingeing aside, I am grateful to be able to earn some money to put towards my flights, considering I have been point blank asking people to give me money.

I feel sad. Tomorrow night I am meeting a friend to give him the birthday present I got for him back in April. Friday I have to go out for dinner with my friends. I don't want to. Not at all. But isn't depression cured by forcing yourself to do the things you don't want to?

I feel bored, but don't want to do anything. I play episodes of tv shows back to back (currently Orange Is The New Black) and I have started French knitting again in the last few days. I'm sleeping like absolute shit. I am eating slightly less, which means I am closer to eating a normal amount as opposed to stuffing myself stupid. I feel hunger at least once a day, something I hadn't felt for weeks.

I am still actively trying to be a better person. I am trying to psych myself up to go and give blood this week. I've never done it before, because I told myself that I wouldn't be able to handle it and would pass out. That may have been true years ago, but I think I have overcome my fear of needles enough that I may just be able to do it. After I got sick a few years back, and was having blood drawn all the time, I started to overcome it. In the last year I have been stuck with needles countless times, and I now only feel slightly scared and upset about it. It's a huge improvement. I even used to dream about being pricked by needles. I have no idea what made me so paranoid.

God, I need some good news.