The Mighty Tongue *edit* in Meeting Mr. Jesus Christ

Even so the tongue is a little member and boasts great things.

“See how great a forest a little fire kindles! And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell. For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and creature of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by mankind. But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.”
~ James 3:5-8

Several mornings ago I was awoken with a text that blindsided me, hurt my heart and soon after I found myself being mentally reactive. This was not a good situation. I pulled myself from the game, started praying and asking friends to pray for my unspoken need.

For several years I had a friend who I spent a great deal of time with. We met in church, actually at a meeting about becoming members. To this day I believe our meeting was wholly God worked. For better than a year we were like two peas in a pod, both in our friendship but more importantly how we shared our walk with God and supported each other along the journey. We are polar opposites but undeniably this was not of our making, it was working, very well.

About a year ago she moved into the city and we didn’t see each other as much. When she did come out she insisted on taking me shopping and run me for any other needs I had. She was generous, sometimes overly. I would cook a special dinner and we’d visit late into the night catching up, laughing, crying, sharing about our lives.

One day things were notably different. She was rushed but planned to come back after she ran her errands. She never returned or called. I called but she didn’t reply. A bit of time passed and I called with a dinner invite. She was busy, her husband home for a visit (he works on the road).

A month or so later she stopped in for coffee. I was happy we had some time together because she was “free the whole afternoon”. She shared with me a barrel of troubles on her mind ranging from her daughter being beat by her boyfriend, to my friend’s husband giving her a hard time about not staying home when he’s on the road. When she asked of my doings I shared how excited I was to feel at home with my new church family and that my relationship with God was growing deep. She stopped me dead in my sentence, informed me she isn’t having any kind of relationship with God, doesn’t feel bad about where she is, doesn’t intend to make any changes regarding God right now and hadn’t even looked for a church to attend since moving to the city.

I was frozen. While I listened I was praying for the Lord to give me the right words to respond with. She was so angry.

I expressed how much a change I understood this was in her life and also, as her accountability partner my concern and asked if she wanted to come out to church with me, after all she likes my church and her grandson loves the children program. She got hostile with me, yelling that she had just told me she didn’t want to be involved with anything to do with God, even though she knew it was wrong and probably broke God’s heart.

It broke my heart.

I didn’t hear from her for months. She wouldn’t return my calls. She’d like an occasional picture on my Facebook page, but in all it was as if she fell of the earth.

In June she called to say how excited she was her husband bought her a house and she hoped to hear within ten days of the closing. I called to see if the closing went through but there had been delays. She said she’d call me but never did. Then I went on my vacation.

While I was in the U.P I called her, wondering if she ever got the house. So happened she was moving that day! and was too busy to talk. I congratulated her and said I’d call when I returned from the U.P. She said she’d come for me so I could visit and see the house.

We talked once, briefly. I was up to my behind in alligators, a furnace that needed repair before the gas company would allow re-connection, unusual financial hardship in a state of personal emergency, my washing machine had died, my vacuum cleaner quit, and my landlord hassling me about my lack of outdoor storage. I was overwhelmed, frightened of where this may all lead, on a very short deadline to get things dealt with and I shared that with her. I didn’t think I was whining, maybe I was. The amount of stress I felt was giving me migraines. Her response to me was a very curt, “sorry you have so many problems”, followed by “call me later” and a hang-up. That was three weeks ago. I’ve been ironing out the issues, slowly.

I didn’t hear from her until the text early Saturday morning. “I am sorry I could not keep doing all I was doing. I guess that’s all I was good for cause you don’t call me anymore. I thought we were friends.”

No, I didn’t call back. To be honest I quit calling back months ago when my messages were never returned. When the visits stopped after the excuse she can’t afford to come out her to see me even though she is a mile away five days a week to see her daughter and drop off her grandson. I didn’t want to push when I was given the back off message. Now I wonder, did I read the messages wrong?

I think not. I’ve taken this friendship into prayer many, many times. I’ve spoke with my mentors, my pastor and several other people who I trust for guidance regarding not giving up as a Christian yet not being sucked up by the enemy. Because that is what I think is happening. I haven’t given up, I love my friend both as a Christian and buddy. But I did get a bigger Bible for me to read. She’s not listening to me or any of those who have deeper bonds in faith with her than I. I need the bigger Bible because I am vulnerable to the likes of Satan’s works and will be the first to tell you so. Armor on, surrounded by the saints, my nose in the Word and still I am
W.E.A.K.

I was painfully aware of my weakness when that text came in. Sitting here, alone in my house, I felt like Satan himself had flown straight from Hades into my soul.

Dear God in Heaven, I am on bent knee asking You cover me in Your loving arms of protection. Clear the doubt I hold of myself and let me acknowledge when I am under Satan’s attack. Thank you for showing me how big a forest can burn by just a little fire. Thank you for filling me with the Holy Spirit who guides me. For the blessing of letting me get these words out of my head on onto paper, to own them, to face them, to grieve over them and to celebrate knowing it is Your grace allowing me freedom from suffering any longer I praise Your Holy name. Give me strength to speak to You fearlessly and with all hope of Your promises being fulfilled when I enter my closet, that I may withhold no thought from You, my all knowing Father. Lead me that I may see Your will for me in this friendship. I ask this in the name of your precious Son, Jesus. Amen

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When change happens within yourself you realize that people are only around for a season. When the season is up God bless the relationship of what was. Revelation is awesome because it requires growth.

Last updated October 13, 2014