No no no. in Since OD is shutting down....

It sounds like his girlfriend has a really good idea of his lying, selfishness, drinking issues, the way he’s treated me, and just overall lack of human decency that I don’t plan to say any more because it would definitely end up working against me. I don’t want to help run her off because it seems like she may be the one to help turn him into an actual human being which my daughter and I would benefit greatly from.

I did a lot of self reflection and soul searching with the last one and realized that I’m not helping myself by being mean or bitter with these girls. I’m not helping anything by making sure they know he’s a piece of shit, they figure it out on their own. I marvel at how he’s able to just have one woman after another and how quickly he’s able to move on between each one. Well part of the reason he’s able to do that is because he doesn’t have to worry about being a parent. They don’t care that his daughter isn’t around because they just want a drinking buddy and a play mate so they are no more concerned about him being a Dad then he is.

It’s nice to see that he’s finally starting to turn things around and let’s hope that it sticks. Only time will tell. I’m not too optimistic because of the past but because he’s actually trying to be sober for this one, it looks a little more promising. I do wonder if she knows of that filthy website and how involved he is. I’m annoyed that he was trying to find hook ups while having our daughter but one of the rules for co-parenting is staying out of the other parents business. I just think it’s crap that not only does he have his girlfriend around our daughter even before I had met her, but is also trying to hook up with other people as well! It’s never enough for him. I wonder if she knows. It’s not my place to tell her and I never will because then I would just come off bitter but I would be hella anger and embarrassed if I was her. I remember dealing with that shit in past relationships I know now I would NEVER tolerate that type of shit again.

I think there’s just a lot of men that are trying to fill voids that aren’t possible to fill and no matter what you look like or what you do for them, it will never be enough. He’s that type of guy. He’s always going to chase temporary highs and doesn’t care who he hurts. I remember so many times crying my eyes out wondering why I wasn’t ever going to be enough for him but the truth is, no one will ever be enough. I’m honestly just so fucking glad it’s not my problem. Let it be hers! She’s dealing with all the shit I don’t have to.

So I picked my daughter up and took her to get her ears checked. She text me asking how she’s doing and I mentioned that her medicine was forgotten and now I feel bad because the doctor said her ears looked great. Later, she sent a money request because she keeps trying to send me money but I can’t accept it. It has to go through Child Support or it will affect our benefits. I don’t dare say that though or that would just be another thing for him to use against me. I absolutely appreciate her efforts. It means the world to me. It’s honestly sad that she cares more about supporting my child than he does but I just can’t take it.

I made a post the other day about my situation and a paralegal said for me to message her. I asked her about all of this and she said for me to say that I’m a SAHM. She said they absolutely will NOT look down on me for that. I am so thankful for that advice because I didn’t want to say anything about my back issues because he could weaponize that and make me sound like I’m unfit or something.