Control freaks. in Since OD is shutting down....

I used to believe that I had serious issues with control until I’ve dealt with people that actually do and then I realize that I’m a lot more laidback that I ever realized. I was on Facebook dating the last couple of days and there’s so many men that have in their bios and talk about how they aren’t looking for ‘party girls’ because they don’t drink and they aren’t into the bar scene. I don’t think it’s bad to set a standard for what you are looking for and it’s great that you are aware of what you want but you aren’t entitled to tell someone else how they are going to live their life and if you feel that you should get that privilege then you should probably stay single.

I personally have been controlled my entire life and for the past 7 years being a single Mom with a deadbeat baby Daddy that if I have a sitter, I’m going to do whatever it is I feel like doing and that’s why I don’t mind being single. There’s enough restrictions in life that I refuse to allow another human being to tell me what my choices are and I fully accept my life for making my own decisions. I am a free thinker and I’m going to be my own person whether I’m in a relationship or not. There is no fucking way I will ever let a man tell me that I’m not allowed to do certain things, go to certain places or not be able to talk to certain people.

It’s really important to set boundaries right at meeting someone so they know that you aren’t going to put up with them running your life. I’m all for staying loyal and not doing anything behind someone’s back that I wouldn’t want them doing but I’m also for having some freedoms and being able to have a social life outside of your person as well. I think a little bit of jealousy is totally okay because then you know they are afraid of losing you but when it ends up where you have to just plan to stay home and never have a life to avoid making them mad, you have lost all control over your own life and that’s not going to ever work for me.

I’ve also never had a healthy relationship with a man so I can pick out the red flags from a mile away. I’ve also been more lonely in a relationship than when I’ve been single so that’s why I don’t put forth a ton of effort to change my relationship status. I also have to look out for my child and try to find someone that would be good for her as well. It’s also frustrating that finding a man with a job is like finding a needle in a fucking haystack. I want a busy man. I want someone that has his own life and isn’t putting all of his happiness in my hands. I’ve lived that and it’s fucking miserable. All they do is worry about you and what you are doing every minute so if you have friends that you are trying to hang out with then they are upset because they don’t have anything else to do.

It’s fucking mind boggling just how many men are in the same spot my kids’ Dad is in where they don’t have jobs, they don’t have cars, they are living off someone and they really have no plans to fucking change. I want a man. I want someone that is in a really good place in his life to not only be in a relationship but would be a good, positive influence on me and my daughter. I’ve dealt with shit long enough that I want a real man. I don’t want to invest time, money, and effort into a bum waiting around for someone douche to get a fucking job and chances are they don’t so you’ve just wasted years of your life and it was all for nothing. I’ve done it. I’ve lived it and I will not do it again.