Demolition in Current Events

It’s been a lot of whining on here. I miss writing about the things I am witnessing in the world and trying to make sense of it all. Wonder Lust, I think that will be the name of my brand when I start making podcasts and content. IF is the word I should use. It’s just modern philosophy. I’m a product of the times. Blah blah who cares.

I spent the day laying in bed again. I can barely move, as per usual. I have an appointment to see my dentist this evening that I am impatiently waiting for. I listened to more of the audiobook The Light of Egypt. It’s the second volume, I can’t find the first one. I should be reading because I own the damn book. Instead of laying in bed like a depressed loser.

I’m on the last episode of Game of Thrones and then I am done my marathon. I was dreading the episode of the great war against the night king because that should have been the last battle. It’s actually an amazing episode, wow. I am going to read the books once I finish this marathon. I own them all just haven’t bothered.

Today is the last day of the magic astrological placements for expanding into blessings, so to speak. I wasted it. We will be expanding into whatever choices we have made and I did not make any choices, which is technically a choice. Come October, I’ll probably be more fucked than ever. Things are going to get heavy with Pluto retrograding into Capricorn. It feels like a Mercury retrograde right now, the vibes are off. I had a friend message me asking about it because the vibes are off for her. She’s a Leo, she will have a hot girl summer. Her fiance as well. Me? Just massive character development, allegedly. Feels like an implosion. Like a slow demolition.

Honestly, I feel like the last 5 years of growth did not even happen. I feel and think the exact same way I did 5 years ago, it feels. I cannot connect to anything from that time period. That splendour is gone.

I’m really dreading this appointment. It’s just for a filling. It’s the leaving the house part that bothers me. Every fibre of my being wants to crawl back into bed. I’m collapsing under my own dead weight. Whatever. Tomorrow, I think I’ll go for a long walk. I need to shake this off. These depression episodes don’t usually last thing long.