Easy Street in The Stuff That's Not Interesting But Is The Most Interesting Stuff I'll Write

I know the death of Robin Williams has been written about too much but it's made me reflect on something very important. One of the main reasons I quit stand-up comedy was because of how depressing everyone was and this is a concrete example of it.

Williams' death has impacted everywhere but where I live, just a few minutes away from Hollywood, it has left a crater. Waves of guilt, fear and dread have been splashing around myself and everyone I know. You see, nearly everyone in this area who is in the business of entertainment believes that all you need to be happy and live the life you want is success similar in scale to Robin Williams. All of those people now must deal with the truth.

Money may make things easier and reduce some kinds of stress, but it in no way makes up for the things that have nothing to do with money. When I was doing stand-up, I had as much money as I needed to get the things I wanted. I didn't have millions of dollars but I had somehow tricked everyone into paying me ludicrously for something that really took very little effort on my part. I always felt guilty, somewhat fraudulent because of that. Furthermore, the financial success didn't very much change my happiness level. I was still a joyless bastard who wallowed in the death of my lover years before. I drank too much, did the few drugs I would allow myself to take, and had meaningless sex with whomever hurled themselves into my past. The truth is, I would have been completely fine living that life for the rest of my days if I weren't constantly surrounded by horribly depressing people.

Stand-up comedians are some of the most joyless people I have ever met in my entire life. I've met happier people while volunteering at a homeless shelter. The dichotomy of the comedian is that their job is to make everyone happy, but they themselves have no one to make them happy so they suffer and create chaos amongst everyone around them personally.

Some of them seem like they have found peace, which makes me happy, but there was no way I could live a life that I really didn't find all that satisfying when everyone around me hated their lives, too.

I know I bitch and complain about my life choices, but the truth is, the death of Robin Williams brings into sharp focus how great are the life choices I have made. You see, had I not chosen to get off the road to Easy Street, I could very much have ended up like Robin Williams. I have always said, "I'm not one of those people who could himself," but if Robin Williams could do it, by God, it could happen to any of us.