Deep in Hi

I have always been a very deep and introspective person.

Then I was introduced/found CBD gummies with THC. I was never a pot smoker - never a smoker. Like Bill Clinton I didn’t inhale. It wasn’t lack of trying, I tried. They work best on a very empty stomach and I have been dieting lately, so I have the empty stomach. I have become more deep and more introspective. I think of things to write, but then I forget. Between gummies and age, I do forget why I walked into a room and what I was looking for.

I’ve been thinking a lot about my mortality. I think it started when we prepaid for our cremations. Maybe I think about my mortality because my Mother died at 68 and I am 66 now. 2023 has been my worst year for my health and we aren’t half way through. I won’t bore you with all the details. Bleeding ulcers in my stomach seem to be the most concerning thing. Also diverticulitis, it seems I haven’t taken very good care of my stomach.

I was listening to “Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me” and I laughed literally out loud and was the only person in the room. It sounded strange to my ears to hear myself laugh. I don’t do enough of that.

Also, I thought my crier was broken, as I haven’t shed a tear in so long. Then my brother, the one I love dearly hurt my feelings and the tears came and I couldn’t stop them. I sobbed and shook and couldn’t get a hold of myself. We had gone out to eat and I couldn’t regain my composure. I finally asked him “Can we go, please?” and we did. He and my sister-in-law dropped me back at my hotel. I always have to stay in a hotel when I visit because my SIL is a hoarder. All families are dysfunctional. I think my dysfunctional family was a 4 on a scale of 1 to 10. I think her family was a 10 out of 10. Maybe I will go into details another time. Maybe I won’t. It’s not my story, it does affect me. It affects everyone who cares for her.

Funny story from my childhood: My Daddy had a tattoo of a Hawaiian girl on his upper arm. I was always fascinated by it. He told me that he and one of his Navy buddies waited in line for a very long time for his buddy to get a tattoo. At the very last minute his buddy chickened out. Daddy said “We waited in line this long - SOMEBODY is getting a tattoo” So my Daddy did.

Peace out for today.