Recharge Station in Current Events

I don’t feel like I have a lot to say. I don’t have that mind-numbing inner monologue about my roommate on repeat now that I’ve actually spoken with her. As for work, that place doesn’t feel so toxic now that I have accepted that I am ready to move on. I applied for a part-time position at the location by my place for the role that I already have. They didn’t give me the full-time and even though they said that I had aced the interview I didn’t get a call from them about the part-time which is absurd. I have two years of experience, I have a uniform, I don’t need training, and so there is no reason to not jump on it. I had already confronted my supervisor about my suspicion that they are gatekeeping me from opportunities and this just adds to my theory.

I got called to the office this week and was told that I would be participating in an investigation next week. Somebody went to their third party to report something and my name was mentioned. I played dumb but I know that it was Mel. He did it anonymously. It’s about all of the issues we have been seeing and experiencing. Not sure why my name was dropped but I’m not afraid to say the truth. I told my boss to her face all of the issues I have with her. Her favouritism, all of the behaviour that she lets slide. Time theft, etc. She said that she would arrange a meeting with the district HR and her manager. That was almost a month ago. It’s not going to look good if I have to bypass her.

I have not heard back from the organization I interviewed at yet. They said it would be up to two weeks. My friend who works there sent me another hiring program, but this one is not a good fit. I’m a prude and not sexually active and they want somebody willing to discuss sex because the program is about sexual health. I can explore other programs that they have now that I have time today.

I’ve been a hoe on the go all week. I haven’t been this busy in a while. It’s kind of nice. I have today all to myself. All I need to do is buy a gift for my sister’s baby shower tomorrow. I want to charge my social battery and spend the entire day in bed. I won’t. I should be throwing my resume around some more. All around me people are creating change and starting new opportunities and now I’m getting some FOMO. This is the first time I’ve been conscious of my astrological transits so I’m practically trying to self-fulfill a prophecy.

Massive abundance and blessings are coming for Taurus. Scorpio, Aquarius and Leo get some of the residual effects of these positive transits. My rising is Taurus, risings are what horoscopes are for, and my chart is heavy with Scorpio. It’s actually heavy with misfortune. With bad luck. With endless struggles. Nothing but death and transformations. It’s hard to be confident that these positive transits could even reach me. Either way, I have a lot of dead weight that needs to go to make room for these changes. Around June 1st an opportunity is supposed to just fall onto my lap and throw me for a loop. It’s supposed to be something I didn’t really see coming that I don’t feel worthy of. We shall see.

I’ve been seeing synchronicities very strongly. 888 mostly. I feel like I need to go to the casino and test my luck. I just might do that today. I’ll be in and out because $40 doesn’t last that long. Something I am testing my luck on is reaching out about collecting the “reparations” on my late father’s behalf from the residential school he was forced into. When my sister looked into it they told her that we didn’t qualify because he died before May of 2005. My inner guidance is telling me to challenge it and fight for it. I got nothing to lose.

My roots are mad showing but I can’t really afford to touch them up. I also can’t decide if I want to go back to my original hair colour or keep going with the sterling which just goes platinum and brassy. I dyed my hair because I wanted to try it out at least once before it was all gone. I had been stressing about my busted hairline. I have been using the clove/rosemary water for months now, as well as the DMSO and castor oil and I can see that there are results. When I first started with the DMSO I was told that I would notice a huge difference in the rate of it falling out. That was 100% true. There is hair there and it is grown out without blonde tips so it’s brand new. It’s not as dense but it is something. I am going to try and detox my nervous system at some point soon, that should help, allegedly. I should reach out to a naturopath for that but I can’t afford it. I think? I’ll get my supervisor to help me look at how much coverage I have left with the group benefits. I still want to see that osteopath again.

[TMI WARNING]
Did you know that not all toilets are made equal? Not all men are built the same either. I don’t know how I managed to grow another quarter of an inch… down there. I’m old people now so maybe I’m just sagging lol. So if the toilet water is too high there can be a dipping situation which is awful. If the toilet is too narrow there can be a scrapping situation which is awful. Both situations can ruin my day. I will itch for days no matter how much I clean that area. Anyway, while I was giving myself a whore bath before work yesterday because that awful situation happened and I had only a couple of minutes to respond, I noticed my body in the mirror and it does look like I work out. I have been pushing myself harder ever since I saw that young man last weekend. He inspired me to pull it together. It was nice to feel like I have results showing from my efforts.

I seem to have an all-or-nothing approach when it comes to exercise. If I don’t have a few hours then I won’t bother. If I have only twenty minutes I should just do something. I want to join a gym but it’s not in the budget at this time. I don’t want to end up with body dysmorphia like most people who go to the gym. I’ll at least be taller than everybody there. Whatever.

I got my coffee enema cooling down in my room. I don’t normally do it while my roommate is home but I figured that it would be easy to be sneaky first thing in the morning because I wake up before 6 am and she will sleep all day. I had a filling done the other day and I can tell that my body is not happy about it. The toxic waste they injected to numb my mouth needs to come out. I’ve been getting headaches which means my brain is detoxing so I want to support the process.

On with my day I suppose. Here’s a random ancient emo song that’s stuck in my head: