Monday in Just me

Not a great day today, don’t feel great, forgot something for Daddy😞 and of course shark week would have to come.. of all days. i paid a few overdue bills and went through some more papers.. just got me feeling worse.. i feel like im in a fog with an achy head and can’t escape it. Daddy is right, i do need to do more things for me. my thinking is that i can’t do fun things until all of it is done. i was raised that way, it has been pounded into my head. But, i don’t think it’s true anymore. idk. i feel like i don’t have many true friends left, maybe 2 or 3, but still ones that i can’t really tell everything to. i miss that.. The kids cleaned up the backyard quite a bit, im grateful for that. They have been great, they know when i get sad and ask.. what was it this time? LOL i usually tell them, but not if it’s about Daddy, not sure how they would respond.. i just came in from outside, i used the sprayer hose and watered the front lawn and the side, including the 2 rose bushes.. i still get upset for when they took out my yellow rose when they fixed a pipe.. yeah i know.. let it go.. i should buy another and put it there.. anyways.. i have been watching a show called “A Million Little Things” probably not the best one to be watching.. its really emotional.. i will probably find a movie to watch and just do nothing for the rest of today, i just feel exhausted and like idk… just taking up space. This probably doesn’t even make a lot of sense.. my brain is so scattered..