I've Had It. I'm Done. in Current Events

I’m so pissed off right now. Before I left to meet up with the girls I asked Toni, my deadbeat roommate, my friend, what time her birthday dinner was this evening. Oh, I had that on Wednesday, I didn’t want a big thing. The cheek, the nerve, the audacity, the gull, and the gumption. She invited me out, and even asked me to invite others, then changed the day and didn’t tell me because I was one too many?

The girls and I went to a conservatory and it was beautiful. We had a good time. However, we originally wanted to drive up to a different town but we stayed in the city for me so that I could go to her birthday dinner.

It just gets worse the more I think about it. I didn’t have the respect of her telling me. I had to ask. This was pretty shitty. I’m getting a little too used to shitty. I feel like I am going to absolutely lose it on her when she gets home later. Where is she? The gym. Her life is just Bob and boxing. Bob is back in her life and I know that because so is the booze. I’m going to go in, all in if I lose it. My tongue is sharp, I have surgical precision and I can cause a complete neurological collapse on this goof. People used to be afraid to piss me off. Now I’m a doormat.

I’m basically going to spend the rest of the day trying to calm myself down. I have written her off as a friend. Being my friend is a privilege and she no longer has privileges.
[Boundary Drawn: Achievment Unlocked]
We can live together and be cordial but that’s it. I’m so done with her being shitty to me. Once you’re out you’re out! She can have a turn walking on eggshells.

She begged me to move in together. So we finally do it. Then I was kind and patient enough tolerate her alcoholism, and her endless drama. Every single night it was Bob drama. The one time I open up to her about what my family was going through with my grandmothers health, she immediately turns it around and made the entire night about what she felt I owed her. She accused me of not paying my share. I crunch the numbers and show her that it is her who owes me. I waved it to keep the peace. It was $700.

When she thought I owed her I was worse than cancer. The moment she owes me it’s just a misunderstanding, it’s bygones. All is forgiven. She made a lot of demands on how we structure the shared costs, all of which only benefited her. She wanted me to support her with rent by sending her biweekly payments but she did not want to support me with the grocery costs biweekly. The last arbitrary restructure was that she cover the rent and I cover the rest. I overspent $1300 in an 8-month window. I didn’t notice right away because I was working full-time hours and going to school. We started that conversation and I’m just going to demand that she pay me $1300 and that $700. Then I’m going to tear her a new one about her not sharing the responsibilities with the apartment. She got a lot of free labour from me.

Why did I put up with it?! Great question! I used to hang out with her because I felt sorry for her. She lives a depressing little life. It’s so sad, pathetic and tragic. She lives out of storage totes and boxes for crying out loud. When she lived alone I figured she just had one foot out of the door but no. She just chooses to live like that. She had sad little problems and wanted a lot out of life and moving in together was supposed to create a little support system for each other. She’s too self-absored, selfish, and self-centred to make this work. The power dynamic is why I put up with it. I cannot afford to live here alone but she can. Thus I became a simp. I became a non serl-respecting man who put up with this shit.

She’s locked in and I have all of the receipts to take her small claims court if shit really hits the fan. I’ve had it in my mind that she will be all or nothing and just move out if I have the nerve to stand up for myself. I think that is residual PTSD from living with my other sister and her alcoholic boyfriend.

Yup, I suck at living with others. I should just live alone. Honestly, I would love to just shack up with a romantic partner but the dating people here is like scraping the bottom of the barrel.

I don’t even know what I’m rambling about anymore. I’m just going to eat and then workout until the cow comes home.

Last updated May 21, 2023