Kissing. in Whey and Sonic Screwdrivers.

Not sure how this came to mind. I think I was thinking about the last girl I kissed, and this somehow got me thinking about Ally. I made out with her at the 4th of July party years ago, but as I was pondering in bed, I couldn’t remember the year.

Thankfully, I have photographic evidence of her, and used to be very organized with my pictures. I knew two things: I couldn’t have been dating Candi at the time, and I had to get up for work at the ‘Bell in the morning. That narrowed it down to 2011, or 2008. (Candi and I were on hiatus in 2011.)

2011 yielded nothing.

It was 2008. And, forgotten memory, it was the very same day I got Clarissa Clutch.

Seems like a lifetime ago. I would have been 24. I was still in a headspace that I wasn’t that good looking, but also had the foresight that I was in my prime physically. I was so much cuter then.

Anyway, Ally had been hitting on me all night. And, as a boy of conscience, I couldn’t do anything with a drunk girl. Oh sure, I was drinking, too, but I throttled it and was far more present than she was. She got warm and took her shirt off. Okay.

Later, she was about to take her white bra off, and the entire room (myself included) was all “whoa whoa, hold up girl.”

Safe party, I tell ya.

So. I simply waited until she sobered up and I could sense she was more cognitive. Then I felt okay making out with her. She eventually guided my hand towards her pube stubble, but I drew the line there. Everyone in the room was asleep, but it felt in rude to them to do anything sexual in their presence.

What I remember vividly is how it felt kissing her. On paper, the aftertaste of beer & rum is disgusting, but in the moment it worked. It wasn’t necessarily sloppy kissing, but gosh it was so much fun.

I find this interesting because… I don’t have vivid kissing memories of everyone I’ve kissed. Oh, I can probably remember everyone I’ve kissed without checking the Kiss List. But. I couldn’t tell you when I first kissed Candi. I had a good make-out session with Tara, but beyond overly groping her ass (hey, she commented on it), I don’t remember the sensation. And… so many others down the list.

My most recent kiss? There was zero kissing chemistry. It’s… an interesting contrast. Loved eating Melinda’s pussy, but in the kissing department, there was mutually nothing there.

Fascinating.

I remember Melissa. Two really great make-out sessions.

It makes me wonder if I remember these moments more because all we did was kiss.

I don’t remember kissing Alison the first time, but I do remember when we had coitus for the first time. (We were each other’s seconds.) Intense, but relaxed. If that makes sense.

I remember when I posted The Kiss List years ago, some implied it was some marks on the bedpost. It’s nothing like that. Kissing is intimate, guys. At least, it is to me. Kissing is special.

Remember: Kissing the lower lips is fun, but the upper lips kiss back.

Sure, I’ve intentionally kept my coital count low, at five. In part because it has to feel right. My dudes, I’m REALLY EMOTIONAL.

This isn’t to slut-shame, not at all. My estranged wife has a really high body count. Which means: out of all the dudes she met, she decided to sign a contract with me.

Also, I can currently make the joke that, at five coital partners, I can count them on one hand.

As for the Kiss Count, that stands at 19. I don’t know how this compares to others, nor does it matter. For me, it’s enough to reassure myself.

19 women thought I was good enough to kiss.

The great scholar Homer Jay Simpson once said, “Facts can be used to prove anything.”

If I’m ever in a self-deprecating rut, it is very useful to remind myself that, objectively, women can and are attracted to me. MY BRAIN IS MEAN SOMETIMES, OKAY.

side-joke: It is better to be self-deprecating than self-defecating

Ahem.

It makes me wonder if any of The Nineteen think of me at random. Because I think of them. We shared something intimate. Kissing is intimate.

Hope you get some snogging in your future.