Mumbo Jumbo in Current Events

Of all the things that I have on my plate to worry about, it is literal plates that are stressing me out.

I have 99 problems and it’s always my roommate that I get most fixated on. Yesterday, I brought up the disgusting laundry basket in her room that is overflowing with weeks of dirty Tupperware from her lunches. She chuckled and said that she would clean it up. She didn’t. It’s a high of 29 today. It’s going to be extra disgusting.

She did some baking on Saturday. She filled up the dishwasher, at least, but didn’t run it. I at least ran it. I’m waiting to see if she will unload it. So far she is tearing through used coffee mugs to drink all of the juice. I know that because she is piling all of her dishes beside the sink. I’ve been washing my stuff as I go. I’m waiting to see if she cares that she shares the kitchen with someone else who may need to use it.

Oppositional Defiance Disorder, the moment I looked into it everything made sense. She has ADHD and ODD goes hand in hand with it. If you expect something from her she will deliberately not do it. This is revenge-seeking behaviour for having the audacity to expect her to do anything. She’s broken every apartment rule since we’ve moved in. She argues with authority and has tantrums. This childish behaviour comes from these disorders. It’s the whole picture. This is where her childlike psychology comes from. (Also classic Taurus)

I could have been starting that full time position and be kicking her out but no, they didn’t hire me. I can’t afford this apartment alone and so this has created a power dynamic which is likely just in my head. Confronting her yesterday about that disgusting mess was hard. The old me would have been fine. But no, this new guy gets flustered. His voice gets shaky. He lets this good for nothing woman walk all over him.

Because of her childlike psychology it would be easy to cause a neurological collapse. It’s all narcissism, really. She’s compensating to hide how much of a disappointment she feels inside. I just need to be loud and stern with her like an angry parent and use the D-word repeatedly, disappointment is the D-word. Narcissists can’t cope once you expose them. They have the psychology of a child which is why talking down to them like a child will activate all of their trauma. It’s a sad existence to be a pathological narcissist. My roommate is not one, narcissism isn’t separate from anyone.

She’s been hanging out with Bob again. It’s a long back story. Long story short, she’s had multiple nervous breakdowns over him. He was friends with benefits until he found someone he wanted to be in a relationship with. She was not in control of her drinking when we moved in. The last time she referenced it she displayed that she is not emotionally liable. She blamed him for her drinking. I bring this drinking up because she came home with a bottle of wine yesterday. Drank half of it. Like her liver needs it. She has alopecia and psoriasis. Her liver is shot. It’s spilling over. She’s vaccine injured but her lifestyle didn’t and doesn’t help. Nobody will allows us to piece that together, of course. The vaccine and the autoimmune disease. We spend our whole lives recovering from that vaccine schedule we had as kids and that protocol just keeps getting worse. Gotta feed big pharma.

I’m protesting the groceries for as long as possible. As well as cooking. I can work with what we have. I hid the snacks in my closet. She has nothing. She eats like a child and will devour anything immediately accessible. She’s going to tear through the nuts and seeds. She will finish off the nut milk tonight and eat as much cereal as she can get out of it. Barely one serving. I’ll be surprised if she actually cooks something. She will leave 100% of the mess for me. She might pull a fast one and order food. Then leave that mess for me.

Whatever. I don’t want this to be what my mind is fixated on. We need to finish that conversation we started. I need to man up. I do have whiskey for liquid courage BUT I cannot drink without feeling guilty written for no reason.

I want to work out. Enjoy some tunes. I will try to do that after I eat.

When my shift was over, Mel, John and I ended up staying in the parking lot to bitch and moan about work. They see what I see. I confronted my boss to her face. I’m willing to do that to my employer and not my roommate? Make that make sense.

I think Mel and I are going to be friends for a long time even after our time working together is over. We DM each other funny memes and videos but he messaged me about some stuff going on his life. I think this means we are friends? I made a new friend in my 30s!? He speaks my language a bit, astrology.

I have a Capricorn sun and Scorpio moon and he has the reverse, Scorpio sun and Capricorn moon. Having a reverse sun and moon combo is mad Ying and Yang energy. If you meet someone with it they will feel like home. Capricorn and Scorpio, however, are the two dark signs. Their themes are dark. This is the power couple nightmares can be made of. Our friendship is platonic, of course. He’s a Gemini rising so he can keep up with me. Nobody ever understands what I’m on about when I get into anything I’m passionate about. “Too many big words.” I don’t vibe too well with fire signs. I don’t have fire in my chart. My 8th house has a stellium which is in Sagittarius which could count. Capricorn is the fire sign of the earth signs and scorpio is the fire sign of the watery signs and my chart is split down the middle with those so I’m practically fire. My mars is in Scorpio but is acting like a Libra mars right now. Libra don’t like conflict.

The theme of my chart, especially with current transits, as a Taurus rising, is that I am unwilling to change. Taurus isn’t good at letting go and I have that amplified by a thousand because my chart is Scorpio heavy. Taurus needs to let go and let god. Well, let go to make room for growth. My chart is built for high success but I am holding myself back.

That astrologist I was DMing decided to shoot his shot. He’s into me. He lives in a different country so it’s harmless. He has a Sagittarius moon. He will be direct and will always say what he means. His Venus is in Pisces though. Stage five clinger alert. He’s a Capricorn so he might have that balanced. My friend asked me to do a synastry for her with a Capricorn that had a Venus Pisces, I warned her that he would be a bit much. One week in and he’s already saying he loves her and can’t be apart from her. She’s a Sagittarius, she needs space! She isn’t afraid to tell him that either. He’s learning boundaries, we shall see if she can make it work.

Anyway, I’m going to eat and then maybe watch more game of thrones. I finished season 1. This series was so good in the beginning. I’m still mad at how the show ended so it’s taking the joy out of it. I wanted to watch it and actually pay attention to the dialogue. I have nothing better to do. It’s a hot day, I can feel my depression coming in so I’m conserving my energy.

Last updated May 15, 2023