Irrational fear of tomato soup in Just Life

When I was 16 my brother was dating a girl who had birds,nice amazing artist but had roaches all over her house. She made us tomato soup mine had something crunchy in it. I pulled it out of my mouth to discover I ate the head off a roach. Here I am 20 years later I tried to overcome my irrational phobia of tomato soup. I had a bowl today. The entire time I drank it I still looked for roaches.. I gagged in the restaurant and almost threw up. 10 out of 10 never again.. forget tomato soup! I need therapy.