"i'm tired of making you cry"/"you have nothing to worry about" in The Wonderland Years: 2014. Done.

evan, of course. [who else but?]

yeah so he calls me bc I asked him earlier to call. and I think oh ok so i'm going to talk about something that I should talk to him about and he'll listen but he might not like it.

yeah well turns out i'm wrong. he tells me he's tired of making me cry. yeah I get it. he also tells me. I have nothing to worry about. yeah um. I think I do. I have PTSD and I have anorexia so yeah to me those are pretty big things. to me those are 'real problems'. and I thought he understood that. but maybe not. I don't. I don't argue w/ him about it or anything I just quietly point out the fact that he's wrong. I don't go on and on about it. they might be different things to worry about than he has. I won't. I won't lie and say they're the same.

yeah well i'm tired of just getting bits and pieces of why he's upset each time he is. a few wks. ago I finally nailed it. I don't remember what he said [ok so I probably do but don't want to detail it] but I finally pushed him. I know one night something happened to him something bad. and then he's like 'I have to go' and that's when I knew. sometimes when people get really quiet it means the other person's right. it's like well since you won't tell me what happened I have no choice but to push you. [well I mean I do have a choice. which wasn't working for me].

i'm this/close to calling it quits w/ him. just cause I don't want to wait. [never do].