Getting Out Of This Depression Is Hard in Me Being Me

Last week I thought I told myself that it’s enough already and it’s time to be happy again. But so far I am not. But then waking up in the mornings and haveing it rains all day doesn’t help either so until the summer is here and it’s 70 degrees outside I will still be cold. And then I look around and see how things still haven’t been fixed and I am worried that they will just get worse and I will get blamed and they will cost more to fix and then she will bitch that she can’t afford to fix it and someone will have to come and fix it because she can’t find the parts needed. The one thing I am really worried about is the gas furnace because it hasn’t been serviced since I have been here. The only thing that gets replaced is the filter. I wish I knew how much dust is in the inside of the furnace and how much longer it will be before it stops working althogether. And will that create carbon Monoxide? And then what?
Until I have moved here I have always had an electric furnace and it was always serviced by the management so I have never had to worry. In fact the issues here that need to be fixed this is the first time ever I have had to deal with this. And to tell you the truth I am really worried that they will just get worse. I just wish I can have someone come and fix all of this and have it done so it will no longer be danagerous or a hazzard to my health.
I have found out that there is only one or three heat vents here and the rest of them are air vents. It was the airvents that were the dirtiest and they were not cleaned out that well. If I didn’t have an allergy to dust I would have cleaned them out myself and maybe even used a vaccunme of some sort. But all she did was use her hand and the dust and dirt just fell out and I am still sweeping the left overs. I hate how she dpesn’t clean up after herself when she is finished the work here.
Anyways she is a slumlord and will always be a slumlord and I just need to accept that and really hope I don’t end up in the hospital. Or worse..DEAD.

Onto something else..

Not much is going to happen today. Just the regualr Sunday stuff and not much more. And dinner I am thinking will be Chili.

Well, I need to stop here…
Do have a great day…
Be Kind, Be Calm, Be Safe, and Behave.

Last updated May 07, 2023