Let Go and Let God in Current Events

Astrologers have their knickers in a twist about today. This week we are all Scorpio. They say. My chart is heavy with Scorpio and my rising is Taurus and even though I feel weighed down I prefer to be emotionally liable. Life is coming from me, not at me.

The last couple of days I could barely get out of bed. I am wallowing. I have accepted that no news is bad news in regard to that full-time position that I applied for. I need to be more proactive than reactive here. Not all is lost.

I said that I feel as though I have 99 problems and that this full-time position would fix all of them but that isn’t true. First of all, I don’t even have 99 problems. The two main things that are weighing me down are my roommate and my workplace. Both situations are toxic but this week I have started to communicate with my roommate and my employer. My roommate and I will finish the conversation we started this weekend and my employers will be sitting down with me next week when I return from my bereavement leave.

The theme of this astrological event today is about letting go. We need to let go of things to make room for incoming blessings. We have a full moon in Scorpio which is heavy enough but it is also being eclipsed. Scorpio is about death and rebirth. Transformation. Scorpio can reach into the deepest parts of our hearts, minds and souls. The things that we have buried will bring brought to the surface for us to transmute. This can look like anything, of course. Those things we are hiding from each other and ourselves may come to light.

I wrote down what I want to let go of. I want to let go of my toxic habit of procrastination so that I can make room for goal orientation. I want to stop taking things personally so I can make room for stoicism. I want to let go of my laziness to make room for energy. I want to let go of distractions so that I can make room for focus. I want to let go of my phone addiction so that I can make room for time. I want to let go of my dramas and upsets so that I can make room for peace.

I’ve got that written down on paper which I’m going to burn or something. Today’s date is 5/5/23 which is 555 (5, 5, 2+3=5) which is a number for change and new beginnings. It’s a good day to try and connect to some of that New Year New Me energy. If this letting go ritual can open something up in my conscious then great! If not, fuck me.

I had a dream the other night that I went to my physics class. The teacher was showing us how to turn math into geometric patterns of some kind. I can’t quite remember what it was but it was fascinating to me when I woke up. I remember drawing what he was explaining but I can’t remember what I was drawing it from. I fell asleep that night fascinated about how we can turn Pi into music notes and play a song. We can make water the sharpest object on earth. We can use sound to bend glass and steel. Everything is just energy released. We are just energy experiencing energy.

Last night I was thinking about my own personal growth. I spent two decades writing in blogs and the last several years have been about me being afraid to create change. My biggest fear, for my social anxiety, was going back to school and I actually did that last year. I am still recovering from the low blow of dropping the physics class in February. I am going to be doing a full year of chemistry starting in September. I suppose I don’t know what to do with myself in the meantime. That’s not even true. I can train to be a mathlete. I have the resources. I just can’t bring myself to do it. I am afraid to feel dumb while I struggle but I know that I can do it. I have learned so much over the last few years which overwhelmed me at first. Procrastination is fear-based.

I am learning more about astrology by studying my own chart. I have my south node in the sixth house. I already have a stellium with my Moon, Mars and Pluto but this just adds even more bullshit. When I was looking into what a south node in the sixth house means it was 100% true. It creeped me right out. The last time I was creeped out was when I was learning about my Mercury aspect. It literally put into context the way my mind actually works. I do not have luck on my side at all. I’m not allowed to just get things or have things. It is basically the house of misfortune. Of struggle. Especially with mental and physical health. I bury myself in routines to feel in control. It’s practically an impairment. Of course, this house comes with blessings. The house system is about how we influence the world. I am a healer. This is where my radical health practices come from. Where my relationship with my mind and body comes from. This could have gone south for me but I didn’t let it. I have all three earth signs in my chart. Capricorn sun, Taurus rising and a stellium in the sixth house (Virgo). Then it gets heavy with Scorpio.

Anyway, I don’t know what I am on about. I am feeling some type of way today and I just want to go by myself a plant. That will fix all of my problems lol.

Last updated May 05, 2023