dear diary in 2013-2014

"Dear diary," I said as we finally walked down the stairs to the parking lot, "slash-Penthouse, tonight we were watching How I Met Your Mother. It was the ducky tie episode. I whispered to him that I wanted him to get ridiculous ties like duckies and unicorns and then use them in frisky sexual shenanigans, and the next thing I know, he's dropping his pants in the middle of the public stairwell."

"Yep," Aaron said.

"The funny part is, none of that is untrue or exaggerated."

(Spoiler: nothing happened in the stairwell. I gawked and laughed my ass off, stuck my head in the apartment to beg for Aimee's help, and she was nowhere to be found. When I came back out, he was fully dressed and looking innocent.)

(We had a really stupidly funny goofy night full of McDonalds and Home Depot and HIMYM. And a tickle fight between him and his sister wherein I cheated by smothering him in my boobs.)

How can monogamy / get boring when you / are constantly surprising / me with - / oh my god. / how did you do that? / [I am undone.]