My personal battle and world wars in The View from the Terrace

It's over a month since I wrote an entry!

Coming off the tranquilizers is going reasonably well. The doctor has given me a liquid equivalent so that it is easier to reduce by a small amount. I started by reducing by a tenth of a mg per month but even that was hard so now I'm doing a twentieth every 2 weeks or so. I can't believe such a small amount affects me. I get a feeling like a pressure in my chest and I feel I can't take a full breath. It's not psychological it's physical and happens mainly when the next dose is due in an hour or so. I have also been getting problems with my hamstring again. I had that about 3 years ago but physio and exercises sorted it eventually, now it's back because the tranquilizers are also muscle relaxants so cutting down has triggered it again. I'm also edgy and finding it hard to concentrate and make decisions. But I do now feel it may be right to come off. I had no idea how much these drugs affect you especially the brain. I have joined a support forum and heard real horror stories. Many, like me, were pushed into taking them and told they were not addictive.

One thing that does make me angry is that the doctor says this liquid is really expensive so the drug companies having made money by getting people addicted are now making a fortune getting them off the drugs. They are no better than the street drug dealers really.

The TV is full of tributes to those who fought in World War 1 and programmes about those poor young boys who were sacrificed to the political need of the time, and the the news is full of those who are being sacrificed in the middle east to the current political needs. It make you wonder what it's all about. If we can see now what a terrible waste it was a hundred years ago why can't we stop doing it? The pictures of the children in Gaza are heartbreaking. I know that Israel has been attacked but these children are innocent. I was living in London in the 70s when the IRA were leaving bombs everywhere and people were being killed, but we didn't retaliate against Ireland and kill innocent civilians. Imagine the world reaction if we had. There must be another way.

A few weeks ago we went to a battle re-enactment at Tewkesbury. Before they started the commentator said we must remember that these people died so that we could stand there now. Why do we glorify battle like this? Those people died because they wanted a different person on the throne at the time, they never gave us a second thought it's nearly 600 years ago for goodness sake! I agree we should remember it was awful for them and not a bit of fun like we have now, but let's not go over the top about their motives.

Wouldn't it be good if we could make a peaceful world our tribute to the World War 1 soldiers. They believed it was a war to end all wars. If only we could do that now and find another way to sort out our differences.