this whole. scheduling thing is really getting to me. in The Wonderland Years: 2014. Done.

So at my house we have: Jenn, Kristina, Stephanie, Christopher and myself. Jenn and Kristina work from 9 - 2 at a pizza place. Jenn just started up again. like last wk. or something.

Christopher goes to a day program 4 days from 9 - 3. when he's not there other than when he's sleeping he can't be left alone.

Stephanie says. that if I want to go somewhere on like. a Mon. she wants me to let her know ahead of time, like on the previous day. so she can rearrange her schedule to take me to the store since, well. it's too far away to walk to. Yeah but - and maybe I don't have all the info which I might not - what does she have to do other than maybe take Kristina to/from work and be here for Christopher? oh.wait. well someone should and by 'someone' I mean either her or Jenn since they're the providers and when Jennifer's at work then........yeah.

Idk. it's just frustrating me a bit that I won't be all, at 3 in the afternoon 'ok I want to go to the store' when Jenn won't be at the house when, as I've said, Christopher shouldn't be. yeah. and like it's not his fault or anything. Stephanie said she wants more time to schedule things. yeah I do too sometimes. I get that.

I have the option of taking the bus [which i'd schedule a day in advance which i'm really ok w/] but I don't know if i'm allowed to even do that bc 'something could happen'. right well just going down the stairs something could happen. I could fall.

and so keeping me locked up until I get more depressed [really the only place i'm allowed to go by myself is the backyard. but I've come to associate that w/ phoning evan, so. who btw I feel really safe w/] is a brilliant plan. they don't know I've been cause, well. I don't want them to get involved. I already know how to solve this. thing is the way I want to solve it isn't what they want. if they go 'I care but I know you don't want me involved in this so I won't be' then that's fine. If I had my way. well I did have my way! for 4 [haha redundancy] fukin yrs.! until certain people got involved and decided to misinterpret things and not ask me what actually happened. and betray me. i'll never be that stupid again.

sorry. went off on an emotional passionate tangent there.

so in a few wks. I might/might not talk to Jessica/Hannah about this. if I don't i'll just continue bitching about it. but yeah scheduling. it's becoming frustrating as hell. [not that my bitching helps. well no].