april 18, 2012* in The Wonderland Years: 2012: 1/2 done

'when i think of home i think of a place where there's love overflowing

- from. The Wiz.

well yeah. that too.

And. 'home isn't a place: it's a feeling".

uh huh that too.

[which, again. is why it bothers me so much when people ask me if i'm going 'home'. no. i'm going back to my place but i'm not going 'home'. oh no. no why would 'home' be a place you were abused].

um but anyway.

I was thinking about this in regards to my relationship. As I've mentioned being w/ James feels like home. [as does being w/ him, Jasmine & Max]. You know. safe and warm and comfortable. def. not the way I grew up.

But, going along w/ that.............you know, The River's now home. [the place where i was first r**ed]. it was. where i was loved and beautiful and wanted. and, like where I grew up [as in, my parents' place], also where i was hurt.

and it's the same w/ James too. hurt by honesty not hurt by abuse.

so yeah. that's basically it.