oct. 2, 2012 in The Wonderland Years: 2012: 1/2 done

'>......our latest.

fight, that is.

"It's like putting a penguin in florida" is what he told me about our last fight before this one. "it won't work".

And that goes into my whole you-can't-change-a-man thing. I was recently re-reading a story of mine in which a friend wouldn't let her friend destroy herself. and so the first friend gets angryhurt. [now isn't that familiar.............].

And that reminded me that friends don't let their friends destroy. themselves. Well unless you're me. No it's not so much that as. I'm very uncomfortable point blank telling someone 'no don't cut'. or drink. or w/e. which means I never will. And I also realise it's up to you when it comes down to it. I'll try and help but not by telling you 'no' or not to. I'll ask questions. [and on the whole 'no' note.........it's damn near impossible for me to argue when i'm baked].

which, you know. he did. and then he point-blank offended me. You know so it's not like he didn't try to help. But halfway through it wasn't. it didn't.

In the beginning, I thought he was fine w/ the cutting. Sure he probably didn't like it but he never said anything about it. And that's pretty much where I'm at now. and where I've been at the past few yrs. Sure it's not a great habit [well no. no it's not. obviously] but there are worse things out there. And that's how I see it.

See whereas w/ the anorexia. It's a bodily thing. It's terribly destructive. as is the drinking. right and cutting isn't? No it's just not as much. I'm always careful. Always. And I always will be.

sigh. i guess. it would be nice to know where he's at w/ the cutting. not, that i'll like it as i won't.