dec. 11, 2012 in The Wonderland Years: 2012: 1/2 done

'I've been in a constant liquid smoky haze lately. W/ all the smoking and drinking I do. I drank an entire bottle of vanilla vodka over the weekend. And no I'm not proud of it. And then early yesterday morning I was fairly wasted. *Since, because  I don't want my parents knowing i drink this much, I drank so much before sunup and therefore got wasted.

I didn't feel good yesterday. I was queasy all day. And a bit dizzy. And tired. Nothing really of consequence happened to interrupt the day. We - *my parents, sister and I - decorated the tree we got. *Then, after. Mom, Kate and I went to Target, the pet store and then onto an improptu visit to Noodles. And then back to my place. *where they left and I smoked and then slept for 2 hrs. I didn't get much sleep yesterday.

I would've gone to the liquor store last night - nearing 2 a.m. atm - but I'd just gotten back, A and 2, I was still recovering from earlier that morning. So. And I don't think I'll go tonight though we'll see - as I'm seeing my mom tomorrow and. I don't think a repeat would be good for me. right now. [this from the woman who hasn't stopped drinking more than 2 nights the past 2 - 4 wks]. Besides the booze, the other reason I've been smoking so much is I got my period. yeah............I mean it sucks but also oh thank god. And however this means I haven't cut.

Right now I'm working on eating more/better. Although it doesn't feel like I am andmaybe part of that is I've not been keeping track. The other week a girl I met at the bar phoned me and asked me to dinner at her place. *when she called I was drunk. And I'm like oh wow cool you're going to make me food right now? omygod i love you.................you're going to take care of me. you're. wonderful. Of course I didn't factor in the time. I don't have her address but apparently............uh....................   oh.right. apparently she lives right by me. ok. And also it was too soon and that Thurs. - of last week - I was hungover [of course], so.

Part 2 next!

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