dec. 22, 2012. in The Wonderland Years: 2012: 1/2 done

'So I went out and got blackout drunk last night.er.I think. At the very least I know I was really drunk. I have never ever been that drunk at that bar. I went into the bathroom bc,, well as said. was sick and my friend Jessica came in and she's like 'i won't go in the stall w/ you even though i'm a nurse but i will keep you company'. And yeah that's cool I understand. No I was grateful to have her company. the worst part of being sick is being alone.

I remember bits and pieces of last night but not what happened when. 2 people bought me drinks which they apparently didn't clear w/ the bar staff. My friend Douglas bought me a white Russian w/ 'regular' vodka and Jessica bought me one w/ cake vodka. and omygod it tastes just like chocolate cake. Like I want to eat it cause it tastes so damn good. I'd wanted to try it and now I have. except. you can't really eat vodka. as I'm pretty sure it's physically impossible to eat a liquid. er. I think.

I know I had at least 2 drinks. maybe more.....if I got that fukin drunk then yeah obviously I had more than 2. I was trying to find my receipt earlier today [currently 2  p.m. atm] [yes bc trying to find anything after a night of drinking when you're knackered - by which I mean both tired as all hell and hungover - as fuk and haven't gotten much if any sleep is an absolutely brilliant idea] but couldn't. I can't find things normally but usually I'm a lot more clearheaded than this. So today I went to the bar and paid them back.

I don't remember going back to my place at all. Like I know I did and it happened. But that's also not something I want to go into right now. more transpired than just that.

god what a night. it was awful.

So of course I'm hungover today. I went out like I said to the bar then Safeway to pick up more card applications then to King's. where I got cherry 7Up fruit punch and some other stuff. I've been drinking soda [well but I mean I usually do] since apparently the uh. carbonation helps w/ hangovers. and caffeine does too.

I have nothing to do today. which is actually great. Unless my friend Ellie phones me and wants to do something. We could go to a park or.um. Chipotle. somewhere mellow that doesn't involve drinking. cause my god. [and yes I'm aware you can get beer at Chipotle. I just never have]. We'll see.

My headache's gone. and so's the dizziness. it's just the overall feeling of yeah I don't feel that great. Ya know it's interesting cause um. When I got back Thursday morning [ok so that was yesterday morning] I was fine. I mean drunk and cold and triggered. but nowhere near as drunk as I'd been last night. well I mean we all have nights like that. But wow.

so many mixed emotions.