dec. 22, 2012. ED. in The Wonderland Years: 2012: 1/2 done

'So um I've slipped back into a relapse. Again. Bc of this whole. not seeing him thing. Bc I haven't felt loved.

Which, you know is really stupid. It's not that it's not understandable as it is. It's that I feel like I'm being reminded I'm not strong enough to not relapse. And I don't like that.

I know/realise that. if I actually let myself be imperfect lost control w/e you want to call it. I'd recover better. No not 'faster' just better. And I don't.