sad face in Bittersweet

I submitted our medicaid renewal. We are the first month of no more automatic renewals. And we are over income. We HOPED our saving grace would be if they go based off of taxes, we installed solar which lowers our tax bracket due to the payment. But nope. They dont. They go off of paychecks. In AK they pulled your taxes.
So we will show way over income. Its really scary when you think about the health insurance factor. Like not having it.
B got his bloodwork done thankfully. Hes extremely anemic and blood cells are like mine, misshapen and unable to absorb iron properly. I gave him some supplements. But no indication of anything other then EDS which isnt tested in the blood. So that is good.
Ill be able to get my last neurology appt in. Not a lot of good it will do me. They gave me three refills on my shots. Which means i can pick them up in July lmao. How fucking USELESS is that. I loose insurance the last day in june. So i wont be able to have any buffer on my migraine meds… and no way in hell Im affording 900 a month for that shot.
L and Ch will get their bottom braces on and that is covered and one adjustment will be covered. So after that we will be picking up the 250 a month for the braces. It needs to be done… they already look better. B needed them too but its too late now. So livid on that.
I can get health insurance through my work, but the deductibles are so high… I cant afford 10K per person… I think it would be better to just pay out of pocket. seeing its pay in full until the deductible. If it was a copay first… But its not.

Im just scared. Scared something bad will happen. Scared of the migraines, scared to go without that med. The others ill work to afford. Its going to hurt but we will make it work…
Scared for my kids without insurance. My anxiety is in overdrive now. Im trying to be accepting. I cant change that, I cant afford much else… Not unless T quits his job. And we cant live like that…
Just scared. And nothing is going to make this better for me.