RIP in Current Events

My grandfather passed away a couple of days ago. I don’t know what to think or what to feel about it. I haven’t been thinking about it at all actually. I keep forgetting that it happened. Then it crosses my mind and I push it away. I seem to be trying to pretend that it isn’t happening. It’s happening. I don’t have it in me to pretend anymore. My heart is heavy.

I didn’t have a relationship with him. I am not connected to my dads side of the family because my father passed away when I was eight and my mother didn’t stay connected to them, for good reasons. My grandmother passed away a few years later. My father was the favourite of all 13 kids.

The government took them from their homes and put them in schools. They all reunited in the 80s. I have cousins that were never seen again, however. Those that were sent to America are lost forever. There is a lot of systemic issues that resulted from that but at least they speak and act and pray like the white man. They’re dependent on the government, that’s what the point was and society blames them for it. It’s all fucked up. My aunts and uncles don’t talk about it. The majority of them are not actually dependent on the government. I was just saying.

I have one uncle that will talk about it and I want to connect with him at the funeral. He’s turned his back on the family church and reconnected to the Ojibwe traditions. I too want to learn the language and culture. I also want to learn all about what happened to them during the 60s scoop. I honestly feel like I missed out on getting to know my grandfather better. He and my grandmother always cried when they saw me. It made us uncomfortable. I’ve gone to various events when it was relayed to me that he hoped my sisters and I would come. I never made the effort to connect. There is a lot of criminals and substance abuse on that side.

I remember my grandmother at the hospital when she was on her deathbed. She gave me a watch that I still have. She took it off her wrist, she wanted me to have it desperately. She told me to hang on to the blanket she gave me. She also wanted me to have a picture that my father gave her. It was an Indian chief and the writing on it said something like “may I walk a mile in a stranger’s moccasins before I judge them.” That is at my sisters in her garage, I believe. It’s falling apart. I will get it reframed. That blanket, my sisters husband didn’t know it’s importance when he damaged it and tossed it out. I have the watch, I just need the battery replaced. It’s got an image of two angels. My mother hung onto it but it stopped working. I was so devastated. My brother gifted it to me fixed one Christmas. Had the straps replaced and everything. I’ll get it fixed.

I used to have premonitions of her passing for years before she fell ill and died. She told my grandfather to leave the room the moment she knew that she was going to pass. He returned to the room and she had passed, smiling. She was a very spiritual woman. My mother witnessed her speak in tongue while praying for me when I was dying in an incubator at 2 months old. I’ve had visions of her twice in my dreams. Once of my father. I want to see my grandfather.

I decided to polarize with some old and out of touch idiots in a comment section, to make myself feel better? It’s never worth it. I wanted to feel the pain of dealing with idiots. I have a post with over 100k views and the comments are flooded with idiots. The post is just a clip of a naturopath talking about the problems with diabetes and todays wheat. Every commenter that is vocal against what she has to say is old, obese and looks sickly but they have health all figured out. I’m keeping it classy, they are not. They’re acting like hormonally broken, cognitively impaired, out of touch old people.

My grandfather was 97. He didn’t use modern medicine. He was walking on his own two feet without any support. Still drove. Had no cognitive issues. Karen the chubster that I’m polarizing with needs to cling to a shopping cart to support her back while she shops and waits to pick up her insulin before going to McDonald’s for a third time this week. She‘s a victim of genetics.

Whatever. I think I’ll mix myself a stiff drink. Tomorrow my family gets together to celebrate a late Easter. I keep thinking about how I can visit my brother this year if I get that full-time position that I applied for. I can fix my car and visit my sister, Mir, who is pregnant but a couple of hours out of town. She’s not driving because her pregnancy is a risky one. She’s due in Cancer, maybe Leo? In our group chat, she told us the baby name. Her middle name is our sister Mel’s middle name.. My brother gave his son his middle name, John, to keep it going. I was like “I’m not naming my kids after any of you hoes either!” Lol. My father gave me his fathers middle name. My middle name is named after his best friend who married his sister but died in a drowning accident. I always wished my first name was Charles, which is my grandfathers first name. My mother didn’t like it.

Matter is released energy, not the energy itself, per se. Energy cannot be created. A bomb is just the energy being released from zero point energy. It is the ether, counter-space. It’s magnetism which carry’s electricity. We are in an electromagnetic field and the field is god. The Bible teaches metaphysics. God is magnetism and the son is electricity and the Holy Ghost is dielectricity. Death is just door-ether. Our consciousness, our soul, returns to the ether. My grandfather has returned home. If he’s not vibrating higher than the moon, Saturns weight pushes him back down. The throne of god is Uranus. That is where everything is pure light. Matter is light slowed down. Book of genesis is gene-isis. Isis is the moon and that is where we incarnate from when the moon is in cancer. Saturn is god in the first testament. Cronus, the book of chronicles. It’s Saturn the malefic. I polarize with the antichrists in comment sections for fun as well. I keep it classy but they get real nasty. They bring evil to this world.

The knowledge of good and evil is forbidden fruit. It’s two concepts with two ends that can never meet. When you fracture reality like that you cannot become whole and holy. This is why “Christians” are presented with “Santanic and luciferian” images all the time, so they bring evil to life. We speak only of what we know, said the literary Jesus. Christians only speak of evil because they only know evil. We are being kept away from all things nature and all things balanced to protect this unholy system. We are spiritualizing our own prison.

“I rebuke you you demon! You agent of Satan!” Someone said to me yesterday lol. I’m taking about nature. The antichrists hate nature, which is god. My people knew the truth. They used astrology and theology to explain the sciences just like everyone else.

Blah. I’m going to go mix that drink.

Last updated April 22, 2023