A Few Things in Me Being Me

I have noticed over the last 9 years or so that I have goitten into worse shape and it looks like life will be getting worse. For a long time now my depression has gotten worse and my living arrangements is getting worse and I have most likly gained all my weight back and the stress I have is getting a lot worse and now I have high blood pressure. And all of this is because the landlady won’t fix things to make it so I want to live in what I call a real home.
E very morning so far that I have woken up it’s cold to me and all hubby says is he has been in worst. And everything I complain about he says he says he doesn’t smell things or it doesn’t look that bad. But then he grew up more poor then me and is greatful he even has a place to live no matter what the place is like. But he does see that things need to be fixed. I am just not sure why he doesn’t complain to the landlord and I know it’s not because he doesn’t want to rock the boat and have her treat him the way she treats me. But I think he uderstands how I am feeling. He says he will deal with all of this but he hasn’t said when. And it’s been about a month sice the filter in the furnace should have been changed and the last time he asked the landlady she said she would put it in. I am still waiting. I honestly think of she got the furnace serviced that it would be nuch better because no matter what the heat is at the hot air would be comming through the air vents. I am pretty sure they are cloged and that is why there is very little heat. And when I do feel the heat the tempature is at 70 and sometimes that is just too hot for me. If I had it my way I would spend the money to have the furnace serviced and keep the telpature at about 68 all the time except in the summer where I would turn it off or have it very low. And I bet the landlady would be saving about half the cost as she is now.
When I say things I do know what I am talking about because for the most part I have done it before and I know the outcome. And now adays I actually find out if I am wrong or right and then I pass that inofrmation on to those concerned. The landlady told me I spend too much time on the intertnet and finding things that are wrong. But the truth is after I read about what I need to know I actually talk to someone who has done the job for years. And even then she tells me I am full of shit.

Onto something else…

I went to the dentist yesterday and they took my blood pressure and it was sky high…150/100 and then 150/97. I have never ever had it this hight even the last time I gained all my weight back so now I know I have to start getting back on the band wagon. Which I will. But I think what is worse is that I am more depressed and more stressed then I have ever been and I blame that on the landlady because of her threats that I don’t know if she is going to follow through on or not. And I as scared shitless that she will evict me for some stupid thing and then I will be homeless. or worse yet she will change the locks. I am not even sure if she will do any of this leagally. But so far she hasn’t followed the law or has even got information of how the law works.
So now I need to get medical clearance from my doctor saying I can go back to the dentist which I will find out when I see him tomorrow. And I will be telling him what is wring with me and show him the pictures I have just so he sees them and hopefully he will take some notes and be able to help me from a medical point of view if I need it in the future. There is one blood test I want and that one is to see if I have mold in me. There is no way to do anything aboiut it but I still want to know. And when I do report the landlady I will be telling them evrything and showing them the pictures I have.
The only thing here that is perfect is the Reletive Humidity and I am not even sure why. Thank goodness she has no contol of that.
The thing I don’t understand is if she doesn’t want to supply these things then why doesn’t she let me sign a lease and add them as part of the rent? Like the electricity and the heat and even the wtaer consumption? And also write on the lease the things that terrify her like lighting candles or haveing a space heater or people staying here or even having a pet. But then I can only have pets that don’t shed. I think if I had a per I would be much happier because it would be something that I need to take care of other then me and hubby and maybe I would feel a lot happier.
But then I would most likly be much happier if when I did talk to the landlady that she would say yes instead of no and not give a reason other then she said so or it’s her house. I figure if it was really her house down here that she would be more caring about it and make it the best she can like she does to her own living space. In the last 9 years she has replaced everything in her part of the house and nothing down here. But the things she isn’t doing down here will eventually destroy what she has. Like the mold in the batroom I am sure has reached her vanity in her bathroom and the mold in the landry room has gone up to her laundry room. And she hasn’t even looked to see if it has. Well, whatever…it’s her monkeys not mine.

Onto something else…

Today is hubby’s brothers birthday which means mine will be in July and he and I will be 60.
So hubby I think will be going for dinner with him and his friends and then bowling. I really don’t want to go bowling but I do want to go for dinner but I need a way to get back home and I am not sure what the buses are like so I will be staying home. I am not sure if hubby is going to go but I will find out when he wakes up. And if he doesn’t go I am thinking chilli for dinner.

Well, I need to stop here…
Do have a great day....
Be Kind, Be Calm, Be Safe and Behave…

Last updated April 20, 2023