Unworthy in A day in the life...

I told a lie today. It was a whopper, too. I woke up really late today, way past the time I was supposed to be at work, and I panicked. I haven't been there that long and I was afraid of being fired so I came up with a doozy. I feel so freaking guilty I've been sick to my stomach and feeling anxious all day. I had to take a freaking anti-anxiety pill this afternoon, and I never take them during the day.

I know I can (and must) pray and ask for forgiveness, but I feel like what I've done is so bad that I don't deserve to pray. I know that's ridiculous but it's how I'm feeling. If I haven't been good, if I've intentionally done something I know is wrong, I feel lower than pond scum and like God doesn't even want anything to do with me.

I hate feeling like this.