More Naked Time. in Whey and Sonic Screwdrivers.

And it hits me that the last time I really wrote was right before I worked nine days straight while the boss lady was on vacation. And then I remember what I did the last day of those three days off: I went to the nude beach. So it's kind of funny what I ended up doing yesterday: I went to the nude beach. : D

Elissa and I are pretty much asking any of our friends if they want to come. Because dude, nudity is awesome. We managed to snag my friend Angie. What a great way to introduce friends. "Hi, this is so-and-so, let's get naked now."

I still left a cooler in the car with extra bottles of water, but I was far less paranoid about what to bring this time. I managed to remember to bring my fedora, exclusively to cover my face with when I lay face-up. Partly to avoid burning my face, partly to keep the sun out of my eyes. Also far less paranoid about burning this time, as I didn't get any red last time at all. Followed the same protocol of reapplying before and after we went in the water. Just less paranoid this time. : )

It's interesting to note who the obvious over-tanned regulars are. The joke is that nude beaches are all old men with saggy hairy balls. Get it straight: Almost all the balls were shaved. But seriously, 'single men' were in the minority, most people seemed to be either couples or in a group. Pretty attractive cross-section today. What's a nude beach without a token hot black guy with a penis so long flaccid you have to guess it's length? You know he KNOWS he's hot shit. Hey man, everybody's looking. So long as you don't stare, it's no different than when people have clothes on.

Actually, the creepiest thing was guys wearing trunks - with obvious tents. Somehow guys nonchalantly walking with a dancing, flopping semi isn't threatening, just comical at best. (Then again, sometimes a thick flaccid penis can be mistaken for a semi.) I won't deny it, I'm exhibitionist and hope at least someone was checking me out. Angie said she was admiring my ass when she could. That, I'll believe, I have a pretty nice ass. Dick size, they agreed I look 'normal' when flaccid. I'll take it. The joke is, "Hey, at least you can find it." For every guy with a long swinging cock, there's another where it's just. ...Where is it? Where's the rest of it? Poor guys. Takes massive balls to just be like that and not give a fuck. Props.

Elissa doesn't see how pretty she is. She thinks she's the equivalent of the fat balding short-dicked guy on the beach. When we were getting settled, I saw at least three guys heads turn and watch her disrobe. Oh sure, eventually the eyes went back to their own business, so it's not a big deal. I had to point this out to her and her reaction was basically, "Really? Really? I'm a good kind of naked? YAY!"

I absolutely love when naked people strike up a conversation. "Oh hi, I'm naked, you're naked, we can see each others genitals, what's up." An older couple (I'd guess 40's) approached me and pretty much bought one of my sunscreens off me for $15. It wasn't full, so I was ready to just give it to them. But she insisted and handed me money. And I have a latent rule that when someone offers you money, you say "Thank you." She was saying how she's Irish and the sun doesn't like her. Kind of adorable.

(Hey, older than me, how's that sound? Not implying 40ish is old, because that'll be me in ten years.)

It was high tide today, I guess? For the Atlantic, the waves were pretty violent. Concurrently, we eventually got swept way down the beach. Took a bit to find our spot. Obvious which towels were ours - I'm using a my little pony towel. No, seriously. It's so me. I'd say we were outside for two and a half hours. I think I got slightly browner again. The only part of me that looks remotely red are the tops of my feet. I knew it!

I had some frustration with the Garden State Parkway both going there and coming back. I've had a latent rule about not driving on it, or strategically avoiding it. I can't put my finger on it, but it's scary as shit. Or maybe it's having to get over 8 lanes in 100 feet for a toll. Whatever, I survived. I find the sun kills my appetite, but driving back, we all realized we were hungry. So. We went to Sonic before dropping Angie off. I'm such a fatty, but it was so delicious.

It's a blessing that my condo complex never actually cashed my check for the pool badges. I like the pool, don't get me wrong, but going a lot to "get my money's worth" almost felt like work. I'd only manage to get there late in the day when the sun was almost down. And if it was actually hot, it would be too crowded to really enjoy the pool. On the other hand, going nuding is a really special occasion which has been so ridiculously fun each time now.

Huh. I woke up feeling kind of eh. And I do feel some level of eh. But thinking about all this wonderful stuff I did yesterday makes me feel better. I should catch up on tumblr, maybe run, and then clean. "Do what I wannnna do."