What's your excuse?/ Fat shaming in Parenting

So there’s this picture going around the internet, specifically face book and it has people all up in arms and fighting. (Hot chick with her 3 kids saying “What’s Your Excuse) There’s a lot of fat shaming going on around it and I’m quite frankly tired of seeing it pop up on my feed. The most ironic thing is that 2 girls who shared it on their page DON’T EVEN HAVE KIDS! They have no idea the amount of time, emotion or strength it has to be a mother, especially a new one at that.

Her message “What’s your excuse” was supposed to be motivating. I get what she was trying to do, but she did it in the wrong way. Its condescending and pretentious. “Why don’t you look like ME”. It would have been more motivating, perhaps, if she had been more like: Look I can do it, and so can you! Kinda like a “Join me” thing instead It separates her from the women who don’t spend time at the gym. I LOVE what someone mentioned. We all have choices, priories, demands and living our life. SHE’S made HER choice to and made her priority to look like a super model. We all don’t have the support system to do that and a lot of mothers don’t have that has their priority! Everyone who isn’t in shape or doesn’t look like her is not making excuses. SOME women do the best they can with the resources that they have. It’s not excuses. Its fact. She has an excellent support system to balance her parenting, healthy life style and work. There are many variables between her life and many other women’s. Shoo, some women DO prioritize the gym and eating healthy and STILL will never look like that!

Her husband doesn’t work. If mine didn’t work, I could easily spend an hour at the gym. Yes, I have a gym membership. But when would I use it? I get to work at 6:30 AM, when the world is sleeping. I come home and spend time with my baby. Brian gets home at 8:30pm. If I’m not too tired and don’t mind being even MORE sleep deprived as I already am, then I spend 30 minutes on the treadmill (and that doesn’t ALWAYS happen because yes I do like my sleep more). My gym does not watch kids until they are a year. Babysitters nowadays run 20$ an hour- I don’t even get paid that in my full time corporate job. And I wouldn’t leave my baby alone with just anymore. And my mom watches her while I work and works 3pm-11pm. Not an excuse. Fact.

When my pelvic bone doesn’t feel like it’s going to fall off, I might put Norah in the stroller and jog. I go on walks when it’s not 124 degrees outside. I spend money that I don’t have at the chiropractor to fix these problems. It’s not an excuse, its fact

Healthy eating. There’s a reason poor people can afford the 1$ menu and not the 15$ salad. I did an experiment once. I ate Paleo, bought nothing but Paleo in my shopping cart. 200$. Another week, I was on a tight budget. I filled my cart up with ALL processed and boxed food. 50$. No joke. Not an excuse. Fact. I can show you my receipt.

Working. I already went down this road. This lady has 2 small business right? So she’s got people working for her no? She was also Miss Something. So she already HAD the nice, tight body and resources to accomplish what she wants.

Some women ARE born with nice bodies. Not an excuse, just fact. I know a lot of women who are naturally skinny, and some who KILL themselves to be!

When I was on maternity leave, I could’ve gone to the gym in the morning. Did I? NO, Because my NEW BABY was more important. My baby was my priority. That’s not everyone’s priority and mothers (and ALL WOMEN) should NOT be shamed for not having the same priority as you.

It’s more of how this picture has been used, Fat shaming mothers. Not cool. We do what we can, when we can. And just because we don’t look like HER doesn’t mean we’re not as beautiful. So much emphasis is put on weight and looks. You can be healthy without looking like a super model which is apparently what we’re supposed to look like.

And just because you look like that doesn’t necessarily mean you will be happy either. At my thinnest, I still thought I was fat. And you know how I got thin? Spending HOURS a DAY at the gym and eating salads.

Aint nobody got time fo dat