Lean toward the negative in Adventures in paradise

It was meant to be a fun morning out down the coast, catching up with an old friend and each of us getting haircuts in the process. Except it wasn't, really.

I couldn't sleep last night, for whatever reason. I didn't even want to go on this stupid trip down to the Gold Coast to see David, as much as I adore that guy. I knew they were leaving at 8:30am and that time for me is just like being a zombie. I might as well have been. Anyway, I somehow managed to ignore my snooze button on the alarm clock on my phone for a second time, and got myself out of bed and threw on some clothes. In fact, I believe it was James ringing me, letting me know he had just picked Carly up and saying he was 20 minutes away, that got me out of bed and ready.

It left me no time for a shower. A spray of deodorant would have to suffice. It left me no time to eat. I heard James' car pull up outside in no time at all, and I grabbed a banana, throwing the peel as I walked out the door.

So I should have known as soon as we picked Vish up (who wasn't ready at all - surprise surprise) and took off in the car onto the M1 that I was going to feel nauseus (I'm so pissed off with myself tonight that the fact I keep forgetting how to spell that word correctly is annoying me, plus the google page won't load to allow me to check GAHHHHH!)

Update: My laptop decided to completely freeze and I thought I lost the entire entry as I had to reset it. I swear to however the fuck is out there that someone is trying to test my patience to the max today!

To start with, I didn't even want to go on this stupid trip, as much as I love seeing David. I hadn't seen him in such a long time and a lot has changed since the days we used to briefly hang out. I just knew I wasn't well enough to go and sure enough I wasn't.

On top of that, it was fucking FREEZING today. I'm so glad I brought my jacket with me, but even with that, fuck!

Anyway, we get to the salon a few minutes late. Vish has booked three of us in for haircuts (all us boys). I was first up. David looked as great as he always has, He has such blessed genes that guy. He'd have to be mid 20's now but could easily pass for early 20's. An infectious smile and a demeanor that is just very very nice.

Of course, I was hacking my lungs up most of the time in the salon chair. I told him what I wanted done, and he gave me a razor cut, which was pretty cool. I've had them a few times before and it's probably just easier considering the amount of hair I had. He told me to let him know if it started to pull, as it was nearing the end of the blades sharpness. We made a bit of small-talk, but I'm always so stupidly school-girlish nervous around him, so I wasn't in the best of places to make conversation. Even if I was completely healthy, I probably woulda still sucked. Still, I found out a few things that have been going on. That business is going well and he's working very hard. I was stunned when he told me that he and his boyfriend have been together for three years now. THREE YEARS!? Has it really been over that long since I hung out with this guy at his birthday party? Over 1000 days ago??? I was floored. I told him they are a very cute couple, which they totally are.

David got his work colleague to wash my hair after the cut, which was interesting. Don't most hairdressers wash it before the cut? Haha, either way, this guy used to live in Brisbane and had just moved to the Gold Coast. He was gay also and also mentioned he had a boyfriend. All these people with boyfriends! Vish and James, David and his boyfriend, and this guy and HIS boyfriend. People must be shacking up for the Winter, but then I remembered David said he'd been with his for three years. He asked me if I was seeing anyone and I pretty much said 'no' and left it at that. It's been such a long time since I had a boyfriend that I forget what a god-damn boyfriend even IS! I understand one has to be happy with themself before they can let another person in, and I guess the answer is since no-one's come along that I don't have many attractive qualities that guys would go for in a relationship. It also doesn't help I'm picky as all hell. I just told David that I meet up with guys here and there but nothing much usually eventuates. I might as well told him that I was a two-dollar whore who'll go down on anyone with the way I sounded haha.

I kept finding myself checking him out. I think I've always done that with David. He might have a boyfriend these days, but doesn't mean I can't look, right? :P He's just so damn pretty. He surprised me with a compliment when he was asking if I still went to gym, and I said I was loving it until I got sick, but yeah I'm still loving it, and he goes, "Yeah you seem quite solid." He then added, "I hope that didn't come across as too creepy." We both laughed.

So whilst this other guy was washing my hair, David started on jame's haircut. My wash was finished and I had to sit back in my chair, having only had a towel-dry from this guy, and David finished off Jame's hair, but I was sitting there for what felt like ages! I still had my cape on, so I couldn't just go and sit with Vish and Carly. I understand David probably just had a lot of clients and time management to make-do with, but it was a little bit weird. He kept asking me if I was too cold sitting there. I wasn't. I was okay. I was offered a bottle of water. Luckily James' haircut was pretty simple and he eventually got back to me, giving me a blow-dry (had to try my hardest to write the correct word there haha) and putting some dust in my hair so I was done!

Vish then got his hair cut and they chatted for ages. We all know what Vish is like - can talk the tail off a donkey.

So we each paid $35 and luckily my card approved so i didn't have to get Jame's to cover me after all.

After that, they wanted to go to Harbour Town. I hadn't been there in what feels like at least 5 years. It was a shit as I remember it, however the cafe Vish recommended in there was incredible. Such stunning food. The cafe alone really salvaged Harbour Town all on it's own. However, it was FREEZING and I didn't have my jacket with me for some stupid reason, so after lunch went back to the car to grab them. Man, it was so, so cold. i felt like I might as well have been in a deep freezer with how the wind was whirling through the mall passageways. Luckily the sun was out so I'd find a spot in the sun behind a pole to block the wind to toast myself up every now and then.

They bought a few things, but thankfully we went on our way back home.

I fell asleep in the car on the way home. I knew I would. I woke up when the drool from my mouth hit my shirt. Happens every. single. time.

They dropped me off home first. Thankfully. I was well into zombie-fied status by this point. It was just past 4pm, and I had to start work at 7pm. I fell asleep pretty much right away after setting my alarm, again, and of course I felt like groggy bat-shit when I awoke once again. I was impressed with myself that I not only managed to get up, but made it to work on time.

Work dragged. There was a new staff member on, but I stupidly didn't introduce myself. It's always awkward when someone new starts, but generally after a while you're forced to get to know each other.
The girl who started about two months ago only found out what my name was tonight haha! It was also Shannon's last shift, and he told me he didn't know who "Matt" was (ie me) when he first started, and everyone was telling him, "The gay guy" and he thought the gay guy was another of my straight work colleagues LOL! I had to laugh that he thought he looked gayer than I did. He defended himself by saying, "Well how was I suppose to know? You don't put on a voice like all the front end staff do. That voice HAS to be put on, surely!"

I didn't respond to that, but it ticked over in my head. I honestly couldn't answer him. Personally I think it might be slightly put on, but I think it's more defined around that particular gay guys surroundings. I mean, when me and Andrew hang out (God forbid lol), we tend to camp it up because we're 'girlfriends'. Vish and I do the same thing. Wheras with someone like Moe, he's very straight-acting like myself (HA) so there's no campness at all really. It's perceptive I guess. I read someone online about a documentary being made about 'The gay voice/lisp', which would be interesting to see one day.

So then of course, it was FREEZING when I left work. I was glad I wore a singlet, my work shirt and a jacket. Then I get home to find I left my keys at work, my housemate wasn't answering his phone and even though I managed to fumble around for the garage remote in between the slats on the side of the house (without the neighbours ringing the cops), as soon as I pressed the button, none of them would work. Flat battery.
For. Fucks. Sake.

Luckily for me, the others were still at work for another hour, so I grudgingly stomped my way back to work in the cold. I didn't really have an option. Luckily, Emma let me in and my key was right where I fucking left it SMACKS SELF UPSIDE THE HEAD

I took off as fast as I could. All I was focusing on was my bed. Vish and James and Rick invited me over, but I was in a mood. I was beyond zombified by this point, tired, cranky, cold, over it. I completely tuned myself out from the world walking back home for a second time. I was that over it. I just let my feet guide me and didn't even think. It was almost like I was sleepwalking home. Hard to explain. I was snapped out of it by a voice, and I turned to see my friend Matt. He was chatting to me from a distance.

I must've looked a complete mess. I chatted to him for a bit, but he told me I didn't sound too good at all, and kept his distance haha! I wished him a good night and we both kept walking. He said he'd been at Southbank, but it didn't really make much sense why he'd be walking all the way home up on the streets in my suburb if he was there. I joked with him that he had a hook-up but he denied it, so maybe he actually was.

I sent him a message apologising that he had to see my sick. He sent a get well message back.

I'm now finally home, writing this with my singlet still on and the heater going. I just needed to get this off my chest. I really did. I sent Vish texts saying I'd had a horrible day and that I shouldn't have gone to the coast with them in the first place and then I complained about how as soon as I seem to start getting better, the Winter temperatures plummet and make me sick again and I'm really getting fucking over it. Sure, it was great to see David, because he's pretty and nice. I felt like he was just being polite and offering good customer service to us however, but hey, I could be completely wrong. He might have genuinely liked us making the trip down to get a haircut from him. We weren't entirely thrilled with out haircuts, but I guess mine's okay. I'm just glad it's short again and I haven't really had a chance to style it my way yet. my workmate was paying me out about it tonight and I was trying to find out if he thought it was good or bad. I guess it's just such a shock for him since my hair was so long for so long.

Anyway, I'm sick of writing. I guess it was a mixed day that I'd lean toward the negative, just because I feel like shit.