I Called Her A Fucking Bitch in Me Being Me

This is after I tried to explain to her not to thresten to evict me and to give me a time line of when things are going to be fixed and that she has to let me knoe when things will be fixed. And at first she said she will fix them but didn’t give me any other information and she also said she can do what she wants. I told her no she can’t and that by law she has to fix things in a timely manner. And then she said she doesn’t have to.
So I started to walk a way and said very ludly that she is a “fucking bitch” and she said she heard that and I said good because it’s the truth.
Then after a bit I went back and appologized to her and told her what I said was un called for. I know I am just too kind and have a thing to do things right. But that doesn’t mean I actually mean what I said to her. She is a fucking bitch and will always be a fucking bitch no matter how hard she pretends to be nice and do things right.
And that dog she has is a beagal mix and she said it’s not trainable but the truth is all dogs are trainable and some take more time to train and need brain stimulases and lots of dog treats. So I figure she isn’t going to train this dog and I am not sure that she has even trained it to sit or stay. And she doesn’t tell it to stop barking either.
And she also told me that she won’t be having a new fence once this one is taken to the dump so I will have no privacy and the people on the other side of the fence will see me also and have no privacy.
I have also noticed that the lanldady is going bald and she has bald spots on her head that I didn’t see before. And it’s not because she is getting old. Because my mom is about the same age as her and my mom isn’t going bald.
And I tried to explain to her that I have had tempature issues since I was 10 years old because of my medication and she is trying to tell me that I have other issues and that is why I have this issue. I told her no becasue they all started when I started to take my medication. And even when I did loose all my weight I was still too cold and too hot so that doesn’t fly.

Onto something else…

The thing I don’t get is why there is so much lieing by ommission from her. Like I asked her why she didn’t tell me the recycling people changed the company they were using and if the pick up day was going to change and she told me I didn’t know that and it was something I should know just incase I needed to call them for whatever reason. She asked me why I would want to call them and I told her to ask them questions like if styrafoam can go into one of the bins or why they missed my bin. She hates how I call all these people. She thinks there is no good reason for me to call any company that she deals with or doesn’t deal with.
And she once told me that I have too many people comming around the back. Well 99% of these people are delivering things to me and this is where I live. She says that too many people will know where I live and maybe rob me or hurt me. Well she has no right to tell me who can come to me or not. And she is always leaving out important information that I think I need. And if something needs to dry over night she doesn’t tell me and then I find out that it has been wreaked and has to do again.
The last time she put a seal around the counter in the kitchen where the dishawasher is and in the bathroom around the sink I didn’t know I couldn’t use it for 24 hours because she never told me so now it needs to be done again. And plus she put too much on some parts and not enough on others so the stuff that has not enough it looks like there are small holes and of course water can get threw.

Onto something else....
I have come to realize that it’s best to pretend and not react but that is hard becsue that is sort of like lieing over and over. I think when someone asks something of you it should get done as soon as possible so there is no anger and everyone gets along. And if they don’t do it out of spite that that is just asking for trouble. And that is what has happeend here. because I don’t ask nice she thinks I am being rude or being difficult and she is digging her heels into the cement or floor and tells me she will do it maybe.
Whe I ask for something to be done I like to know when it will be done so I don’t have to nag the person and they can say whatever time line they want and I will accept that. But when that time line is gone I will ask again and again till it’s done.
So now the landlady she is going to do the work so I will keep asking her when and won’t stop because she gave me no timeline.

Onto something else…

Dinner tonight is going to be prawns stir fry

https://www.delish.com/uk/cooking/recipes/a30698094/shrimp-fried-rice-recipe/

Last night I made my famous spagetti sauce and there is lots of sauce left over so that went into the freezer so my son can take it when he comes here next week.
And today my new head phones should be here so that means I will be able to hear the TV and don’t have to worry about who can hear my TV or not. But I think it’s not fair that I should be paying for all of this and there is no help. The landlady could be a sweetheart and oay for half seeing she is the one complaining. I really can’t afford to be paying for all ofthis stuff because then I do without something else like buying food or paying for much needed shoes and clothes. I think the last time I got a pair of shoes was as a birthday gift for my birthday 5 years ago. It really sucks not having the money you need to buy basic things.
I would love to buy some new clothes that actually fit but because of my income and the situation I am in I just can’t do that without a real good valid reason. And I would have to justify the product that I want and need. But then when I do get really depressed and think that life just sucks the big one that is when I go to amazon and my favorite grocery store and just buy things I really want and then I wonder why I have no more money left. But latly I have been questioning myself and asking if I really want to do this and for the most part I don’t. And there are some months where I actually have a tiny bit of money in my bank account and those are the good months.

Onto something else…

I need to stop here…
Do have a great day…
Be Kind, Be Calm, Be Safe and Behave.

Last updated April 13, 2023