Copycat Knockout in Chapter 6 : Just Beginning The Second.

So…

Sky Living has done it’s own take on One Born Every Minute, called Nine Months Later…it’s not as good, nor as graphic, but they just showed a cannula going in and honest to God, I damn near vomited and passed out all at once. I don’t get squeamish. I’m the opposite of squeamish. I’m the girl that once picked apart a bloodclot that came from one of my exes epic nosebleeds, I’m the girl that if you come to me with a gaping fleshwound, I will ask if I can poke it. I’m an allergy mum for lawd’s sakes. My kid still has the most horrendous bowel movements and yet I still use cloth nappies. I am far from squeamish, yet when I watched that cannula, I suddenly felt squeamish. Maybe because it was on a woman having a planned C-Section? Yes, I’m planning on an elective C-Section. No I’m not too posh to push, nor too much of a pussy to push, but I wound up having an Emergency C-Section 22 months ago and I don’t really favour the odds of something bad happening to me if I had a VBAC, it’s just my luck that my scar would rupture or such, and I don’t fancy that at all, also last time, by the time I was done with my 47 hour birthing journey and finally getting in to bed, I had been somewhere around 52 hours without sleep and I had to get the midwives to take him so I could sleep because I felt as though I was going to fit. Now though, I have to factor in Bub, because of his Allergies, there are only two people willing and able to take him and both of them need prior notice for work purposes as they’re both willing and able to take time off work, but would be unable to leave work in such a situation, and one of those is Ma. Now, I know there will be those of you who truly believe that Ma would walk out of work to come and be by my side if the moment came, but no, she wouldn’t. Trust me. About 7 years ago, she refused to come to my side despite being told that I had 72 critical hours ahead me. That’s right, she was told her ONLY child could die in the space of 3 days and she said she couldn’t get time off work. Now, had she actually asked and told them what was going on, they would have given her compassionate leave, but she didn’t ask or tell them. I know this now, because now we work together, and I’ve told people about when it happened and they tell me that they had no clue I was so ill, that Ma was just telling people I was in hospital. Not that I had nearly died, not that something that happened overnight in the first night, nearly landed me in the ICU, not that it was touch and go, not that the surgical consult had refused me surgery because it would have killed me, not that I had Septicaemia caused by Tonsillitis going in to my blood. Nope, nothing, Nada. Just that I was in hospital, like it was no big deal. So no, if she won’t come to my side on pain of death, you think she’s going to leave a shift to come as I bring a life that she’s not even pleased about in to the world? I don’t. The other is my friend, Iona. Her son is also an allergy kid, and is also Bub’s best friend. I know that in the situation, if she wasn’t at work, we could drop him at hers, but when she works, her son goes to his grandparents, Bub can’t go to his grandparents, he doesn’t know them, I don’t know them, and no offence but I’m not leaving him with strangers. As for everyone else I know? Well because of Bub’s allergies, and the consequences of them, most of them wouldn’t even take him as an unsupervised playdate at the moment. Which, truth be told, is fair enough. Those who would take him, have jobs and have told me that they couldn’t take him overnight nor would they take time off spontaeneously, and after all, why should they? So then the reality of the situation becomes that if I’m left to it and should be unlucky enough to have one of those spontaeneous labours that progresses seriously quickly and I’m alone, I then have to take him with me if I can’t get ahold of anyone, and then what happens to him? Or, I potentially have to leave him with Ma or Iona and go and give birth all by myself due to having fuck all of a support network. Hardly ideal. Hardly patient centred care. I have my appointment which will be when I hit 13 weeks and 2 days, I will be going in and fighting my corner from the outset. Also, if they induce me then it’ll probably wind up in a section again anyway. Oh, and for those that remember this stage from my first pregnancy, it’s the same bloody consultant as last time....fan-fucking-tastic.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to jump in this corner for no reason at all.

Last updated February 09, 2018