SO ITS BEEN A WHILE GUYS. in 40 yr old guy with add trying to make it

Whats up every body… it’s been a while. So many crazy life situations. Trying to find a place again. Been off work for a while due to a shoulder injury. So to pass the time I have decided to get into comedy.. always been a funny guy. So here is a set I’ve been working on… let me know what you all think. You won’t hurt my feelings. Just be honest..
Marriage is expensive.. rite guys?
How many married guys we have here tonight?

I’ve been with my wife for over 20 yrs.
22 Loooooong years. To be exact. Lol..
Just kidding. I love my wife.. I’m not sure what I would do without her. She has helped in so many ways with the aging process. High blood pressure, grey hair, anxiety. Debilitating migraines, and occasional temporary selective deafness. Roflmao. (I LOVE YOU HUNNY..) I can hear her now… “I hope you enjoyed your birthday present last year. Because that’s the last time I ever.... mumbles under Breath… for you ever again. I was chafed for weeks after that from the latex body suit. You were wearing. And the sounds you made will stay in my head for life… the neighbors still ask if the dying cat survived.. Whole other story.. but yeah so....
March 12th was our anniversary.
And after that many years it’s hard to come up with new ideas.. am I right guys? So I thought and thought. Tried to find places or things we did back when we got married. And that just made me feel old. Because everything had changed. So instead we took a ROAD TRIP..

Being the romantic I am I planned a trip to an amazing little town in KY CALLED PILGRIM KY.. never heard of it?? neither has anyone else. She found a preacher on social media that sounded exactly like her grandfather that passed several years back.. So I borrowed a car and headed south. Made a few special stops for her along the way in Lexington (we miss you mamaw..) Then we decided to try to find Bucky’s the LARGEST GAS STATION ever… I have never had to look for a parking spot at a gas station before. It looked like the mall at Christmas time.. so on the way we came up with a bet..
I bet her bucky’s had a hair cut place inside.. well unfortunately I lost.. time to find my torture for losing… you ready for this? An adult onesie that looks like a bucky costume! Complete with head and giant beaver tail.. Oo yeah it was great.. more on that in a few min.
So we left bucky’s her prize in hand.. and I was hungry and wanted to find somewhere interesting to eat.. so upon a Google search our hotel was only 30 min from a hot dog joint in WV.. called HILLBILLY HOTDOGS.. anyone familiar with that place… holy crap..
It looks like they took every peice of junk they could find in WV and piled it all in one spot and called it a building. My first thought was.. is marijuana recreational in WV. If so we need to go their first.. lol So we go in and I go up to the counter to order. And tell the lady I want one of the hot dogs that started this place. And I want one of the craziest thing on the menu.. we went to our seats in the converted SCHOOL BUS. and a few min later she called My name the food was ready… I walked up to the counter and was in shock.. my crazy menu item was called the HOME WRECKER. say it with me. But on the O open your mouth as big as you can… NOPE NOT FITTING IN ANY OF THEM.. well maybe that one over there.... lol now I know how it got its name! This thing was HUGE GUYS.. Just the hotdog was 3 inches in diameter and half the length of my arm. And weighs 1 lb. It’s on a hogie bun and is sent out on a turkey size serving plate.. total toppings and all it was 3lbs. I was in shock. In disbelief I said. That’s not mine is it?? She laughed and said yep.. I started sweating. And said it’s a damn good thing this is my anniversary and not my honey moon. We attempted to eat the massive creation but couldn’t make it past half way.. I got a box before I even left the counter.. lol So we continue on our journey. I had almost forgotten about our bet but was quickly reminded once we got to the hotel. It was a Saturday night and the place was completely booked. We checked in and went to our room. Then the fun began.. yep I had to put on the onsie and walk around the entire hotel one time.. she asked me to get something from the car.. so I ended up making 2 trips because I forgot the keys to the car in the room. My biggest concern with the whole thing was the woman at the counter at the hotel. Didn’t flinch.. or even look twice. I couldn’t resist. I walked up to the counter and asked her if this was something she had happen on a regular basis. She just kinda chuckled and said YOU HAVE NO IDEA.. apparently furry parties are thing in the rual parts of KY. because there has to be a reason she didn’t find a man dressed in a giant beaver costume walking around the hotel to be strange…

Last updated April 01, 2023