Agitated - 09.07.14 in Your Face

I feel really agitated today. I'm bored, but there's nothing I want to do. Hungry, but there's nothing I feel like eating. I'm really short tempered, and everything seems to be getting on my nerves.

No news from the US Consulate, and seeing as my tax return hit my bank account today, I emailed the place in Sydney that does the visa medicals to see when they have a spot for me. When you make the appointment by phone, they email you a list of questions and ask for a copy of your passport, so I figured I'd send them the answers with my request for an appointment. I hope to hear from them in the next day, maybe that way I will feel a bit more like things are happening. I waited this long, so I shouldn't really give a crap if it takes a couple more weeks, but I can't help it. Aside from anything else, I hate seeing my bank balance dwindle with every week that goes past. And that's being silly - it really doesn't matter. I am enjoying not working, and I can turn up in America without a cent on me and it won't matter all that much. I just feel as though we're doubling up on our expenses while we're in different countries.

Oh, it's all so boring. I just spent the afternoon with my brother, who talks AT you, not to you. I get to hear, without pauses, tales of all the times he picked fights and won (he weighs 120 pounds, so not likely), all the smart comments he thinks up (I have heard precious few of these), how he outsmarts everyone on Facebook (on Facebook? Seriously? People who get into fights on Facebook are idiots), how he's chatting up four girls at the moment (and where is he going to take them? The "bedroom" he has set up in Mum's living room?), how he's got all these awesome plans for his car (that Mum currently funds via her credit card) and how he's just going to take off to Indonesia as soon as he has the money (which he plans to win via Keno).

It's exhausting. And I wish I could say that this is his mechanism to cope with the fact that his life is actually incredibly pathetic ... But he has always been this, even when he was independent, had a nice girlfriend and a decent job, we still just heard all about how awesome he is.

I am off to Dubbo tomorrow. I really don't feel like it, but that will change once I get there. And plus, it will get me away from my annoying brother for a few days.

I'm just so dissatisfied with everything right now.