Terrified panic attack... *edit* in A Day in the Life of Me

... Yep that's it, I've officially had it with life and its constant fucking us over. Hes battling over selling or not selling the bike, and I am actually considering postponing the wedding, which sucks for the ppl coming from overseas... its a month away... still no money for the tent, still haven't bought the license, still got to pay the rest of my dress, the food, flowers...... not to mention bills, and rent.... Some days I just wish we could take off and run away from it all, or at least win a small chunk of change off the lotto..... Instead to save face I may have to see if its possible to get a bit more out on my loan, and he's looking to see if he can get a small one as well through the bank.. and then there's his credit card that's been cut off and mailing him practically everyday (Yes as in post, I swear I've taken a letter out EVERY DAY for the last week). I am at the ends of my rope.. I am almost to the point where I feel like hyperventilating, and I have NEVER been to this point... I've had panic attacks before, and I know I am bound for one soon.. this is going to get a lot more ugly before it gets any better I know it.. It seems all I can do is moan on here lately, and I am sorry dear readers, I really should just pick up an old fashioned pen-paper journal to write shitty stuff like this in....

I don't know what to do right now.

* Well its official, he put the bike up for sale.... no guarantees it will sell mind you but he posted it just a lil bit ago... Said that it was sell it to stay, or sell it to go either way :( why does it have to be this hard *