Summer Mish Mash in New Immigrant

  • July 7, 2014, 7:10 p.m.
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  • Public

Thank you for your concern and advice about Jack. Tom has been home nearly a week. Jack's violent delusions suddenly vanished, replaced by milder, less intrusive ones. So it goes with Lewy Body Dementia. He has been able to walk and use the bathroom and is eating better.

The arrival of his daughters from Colorado cheered him. They have been helping in significant ways from taking him outside for walks, for car rides, preparing healthier soft foods and locating a soon-to-open facility. He is signed up to enter there as soon as it opens. Son Dave continues to stay away, which is lamentable. Deep wounds remain.

When Jen and Liz walked in both hugged Tom and said they loved him. That was the first time in twelve years he's been greeted that way by Liz. Both of us are thrilled. Despite the rift Liz and I have, it is cause for jubilation that she is accepting Tom. Formerly he was forbidden to be in her presence too.

Liz has hired Violet to work with her Grandfather five half days a week to help Penny (Tom's sister). They have asked Tom to come over the twelve days when the kids go to Italy and will pay his motel. I may go some of the time to cook some better meals and sleep with Tom. Would also like to visit Dave and reassure him we still love him. I can also pet Clementine, their donkey, which is worth the trip for me!

That sounds selfish. I sometimes wonder about myself. On the radio someone mentioned topless clubs and said once you go a couple times it's no big deal. That doesn't surprise me but a naughty voice inside me wondered if I, a truly "topless" woman, would be welcome. Ha!

Which brings me to a silly-sounding matter. Since I didn't have reconstructive surgery, I wear a "prosthetic" bra when I go someplace that matters. I can't wear it at home, as you recall, cause one cat scratch and the silicone will leak. I also don't enjoy wearing it, especially in the summer, because it makes me hot. Okay, do you see where I'm heading? Mostly I wear nothing. When I don't, I mainly wear loose cotton blouses. My question, and I know you'll answer honestly, is whether you think that's appropriate, acceptable or upsetting. Thanks in advance.

On Facebook there is a video showing a turtle playing with a ball, pushing it around. The good sized turtle, about six inches in length, is then joined by a small dog who also plays with the ball. Actually, they play together! The turtle chases after the ball and dog making you think they've got the rabbit/turtle mower speeds all wrong.

Did you know a turtle would do that? I had no idea. But when I showed Tom it came back to him that a former student had a turtle who played with toys, too! So, if you have stories about playful terrapins, please do share!

My soul was refueled when we returned to The River last week. No surprise that I could barely leave! Within minutes of putting out the grape jelly a male oriole visited. Whee. My good friends are still around!

Unfortunately, there were mice. I saw two on the run and emptied two dead ones out of a trap. Really need to take Zipper up there! We had no cats along!

Mary is doing very well, looks healthy and was full of laughter, as usual. This is the first time I've seen her since Leo's funeral, a l-o-n-g time ago, and she is adjusting well. We talked about him and his funeral and cats and laughed over crazy times she's had. Despite my long absences Mary welcomes me warmly which assuages my guilt (a little).

My life does seem upended, living here in the city for so long. The rewards are many - being with Tom first off. He keeps me laughing. Rebuilding my relationship with the "upstairs" cats - Daisy, Kabuki and Zipper - is heartwarming and gives me great pleasure. Tom handed me their brush the first day and that was my start. Now I feed them, too. No miracles with Daisy and Kabuki who are, after all, feral cats, ones who missed that five week old interaction with humans. Still, they love brushing and petting and I love that they are noticeably less wary of me.

Endless tasks need doing and some are getting done. Today I trimmed our hedges. We will return to the river but the weatherperson's humidity chart has been at "oppressive" so we'll wait until it's more tolerable. BTW, do your weathermen have those charts? My "oppressive" is when my glasses steam over when leaving an AC environment and they haven't done that. Not that we haven't closed up the house and resorted to some AC and fans.

My city life is enriched by the presence of wrens, chipmunks, squirrels, goldfinches, house finches and even one woodchuck. We found the noisy, troublesome crow dead by our house. Tom retrieved its skull.

I am happy to learn that turtles PLAY!!

I'm grateful for all of You!

Carpe Diem! Tick Tock Tick!


Deleted user July 07, 2014

My mother-in-law opted out of reconstructive surgery. She usually wears a loose t shirt. I think she looks great, and am happy she is healthy! I think that you should do whatever makes you feel comfortable. :)

NorthernSeeker July 07, 2014

I think it is absolutely fine to wear shirts with no bra on.

You seem to have lots on the go.

elaine2 July 08, 2014

T-shirt, no bra. Go for it. Women should not be ashamed of their bodies or ashamed of having had breast cancer. I really like the one woman who had her chest tattooed after a bilateral mastectomy and then posted it on the web. I also love it when women refuse to wear wigs. We are still all we were before some physical part is taken away.

thesunnyabyss July 08, 2014

I say go for blouses and tshirts and no bra, no big deal,

I'm so glad you were able to get to the river for a bit and catch up with Mary, good to hear she is dealing with things well, and good to hear things are better for Jack and all concerned,

I had no clue that turtles would play like that,

thank you for your update, I've missed you here, big hugs and much love!!

ThoughtsAfter July 08, 2014

Vee neck Tee shirt or sleevless tank and open cotton blouse over it is my friend's choice. looks great.

jamez July 09, 2014

A late Uncle of mine didn’t see his youngest son much over the last years, the eldest son was living in Spain; so the middle son and only Daughter did every thing. I find this happens often in large families, he had dementia and didn’t notice; he discounted his Dad as ‘off his head’ there seem to be more with that these day’s!

Topless Clubs don’t do well here, it rains to often!

I think you must do what is best for you, if there is a problem it is me, I would feel uncomfortable; but as commented above I would find it normal. I have mentioned before of an experience I had in a studio at work, one of our girls was sitting on a table with a boy, I was making slides for an academic’s lecture. They were having a long chat, at one point she brought her feet up on the table, all of a sudden all I could see was apricot slik. I get on with my job and left them chatting, totally unaware as to why I finished in sort order!

Nice to know Mary is going well.

Our summer is still sunny, we also have a cold wind – not cool but cold!

Take care, and enjoy your small friends as wall as Tom.

MageB July 11, 2014

Nnope. Unless you feel you socially have to wear the falsie, don't bother. Comfort first.

Ragdolls July 25, 2014

majimaze July 26, 2014

Hi there TTT!So sorry to hear about Jack!It is always very sad with dementia as it never goes away and the sufferers always pick on the ones they love the most!My mother would baffle me with her outbursts and I woulfd feel wounded until my late beloved soothed my ruffled feathers.Comfort Tom and let him talk his sadness and frustration out.My heart goes out to you and Tom and all the family.Boy your seasons are so different!Ha ha!A question of hemispheres!We are in the coldest part of our Winter and you are sweltering.Lotsa love and hugsxxx

majimaze July 26, 2014

PS.....and wear whatever you like!I have always been a reluctant bra wearer, so feel free to go without!Lots of lovessxxxxxxx

jamez July 26, 2014

It’s always pleasant to find a stack of note’s headlined ‘Tick Tock Tick’ We have a set-top-box but we can’t Gold, the cannel that was carrying Monty Python is part of Rupert Murdock’s global emperor; and I can miss anything to avoid a penny of mine going into those coffers – wont it be awful if the a link to the man on the DVD.

Another moan, when I search on line for a specific item, I’m not happy of all the other none specific items turn up in reams, Google e-bay and Amazon seem to swamp the page with things I don’t ask for; for exempla and strangely! I had a new tripod, the more serous tripods come without a head, so I was looking for a ‘Ball Head’ a head better for still photography, so I was a little stunned when I was offered a device that is fixed around some ones head, and forces a ball in the mouth, an item owned by very strange people – like those who know how to ‘water-board’ another human being.

So I didn’t find lighting hitting Portsmouth’s Spinnaker Tower, but was offered lighting hitting things every where else.

Fishermanswife August 15, 2014

My opinion is you're doing great wearing with your choice in different circumstance.

I don't have that particular problem but only shouldn't like to change on the beach (in public I mean). That's exactly my problem at the moment. I like to swim but go less because of my very different body.

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