Triggers triggers everywhere in Torridaussity Two

I’m all about mental health for everyone yet can’t kick my own ass into making an appointment when clearly I need it because why else would I be bawling at a TV show where a girl dies and her friends are looking at her and saying they didn’t get to say goodbye oh yeah because I stare at the TV and say omg that could have been me… a year later and boom it finally really hits me how close I came to dying and not getting to say goodbye or having anyone else get to either. I’ve said it oh yeah almost died blah blah blah but until this moment it didn’t click. I’m f’ed up and no one gets it not really....