Fun. in Since OD is shutting down....

Okay so we got up early and that is never fun on Saturday because we are up early every day of the week but my daughter was excited to go hang out with her big sister. I got her a bath and made breakfast. She wasn’t picked up until 11 so we had plenty of time and she was definitely bugging. She didn’t want me to walk outside with her so I just made sure she had her booster seat and her purse. I just hung out and cleaned up the house. When she came back home, she was so happy to have gone.

I like the big sister and I think she’s a good fit for my daughter. I guess they made plans to eat pizza and go to an arcade next Saturday which is awesome because my daughter looks forward to stuff. I’m so happy for her because she needs more people in her life and people that want to be present for the right reasons.

My parents came for all of 5 minutes to take our laundry and get some food. They asked how the outing went. It’s sad that my Mom doesn’t feel any type of way because this is time she could be spending with my daughter and obviously doesn’t mind that her time is spent with someone else.

It’s just sad that this is how it’s been her whole life. My Mom did make pretty good effort when she left my Dad but the past year and a half there’s virtually no effort made. I’ve mentioned her coming to get her to take her to the park or for a happy meal but it just never happened. I will never wrap my head around how this would not bother you as a grandparent.

I think that her having a big sister is a really good thing because it’s showing her that there is someone who wants to spend time with her. Even if it isn’t the people it should be, there’s a nice girl to fill in and I like that my daughter gets to experience this. As much as it hurts me as her Mom that people who should make effort don’t, I look for the positive in what’s going on right now. My daughter is an absolutely incredible kid and I’ll never understand how people CHOOSE to not be there.

It’s a bitter pill to swallow that the people who should care make the bare minimum effort but it really is their loss. My kid doesn’t notice that they aren’t around much but I do. I’m so frustrated with everyone but I’m glad she has someone who wants to know her and be there for her. The big sister sent me a couple of pictures while they were gone and my kid is just too cute. I honestly love this for her and I’m glad they made plans for next weekend too.

I’m kinda hoping to hear from my brother for tonight but if not, that’s okay too. I’d like to see my niece but if it doesn’t happen we will just keep enjoying our weekend. I’m also getting really tired of this shit every weekend but people suck.

My daughter napped and then we got Taco Bell for dinner. I text my brother and apparently they were going to his kid’s orchestra concert. We did that last year where we had to sit all the way in the back where we couldn’t see at all and then they ignored us. I definitely wasn’t about to deal with all that again. He said he’d keep me posted but I doubt we’ll hear back from him tonight.

I’ve talked to my friend a couple of times lately and he hasn’t mentioned me coming to visit and I don’t exactly know what I’m going to say when it gets brought up. I may ask him if he’d like the truth or some sugar coated something. I really thought a couple of months ago when I was clearing out my house that I planned to move there and that I wasn’t upset about what happened the last time we were there but I just can’t imagine moving there and worrying about how everything would end up. My other friend has told me that I’d be able to meet some new people and what not but all that takes time.

We are established here and I’m not really ready to change everything. We’re talking not only changes for me but my child and I really like the stability she has and now that she has a big sister, I want her to have that. I just don’t want to feel like we’re going from this but something that could be worse or take a long time to get established elsewhere. I know I don’t want to stay here forever but I’d just rather plan to move when my kid is older so there’s less chance of me having to depend on anyone.

I still get pretty pissed when I think about how he treated us the last time we were there. I find it absolutely loony that he thought it was okay to hold us hostage and for me to just stay super calm about it. He apparently didn’t think that holding me hostage physically was enough, but merely wanted me held hostage emotionally. I’m honestly more worried about myself because I do have a bad temper and I don’t want to catch charges. I’m only human, I do have my limits and my limits were definitely reached.

Either one of 2 things would happen. Either there would be a massive falling out right away and never talk again or have to worry about him calling me every dirty name under the sun in front of my kid on a regular basis. I just know that everything I have predicted would happen.