Big Sister. in Since OD is shutting down....

So we went and met the big sister. I went into a different room with the 2 women that work there and from where we were sitting, I could hear my daughter and the big talking and laughing. I could tell that they had hit it off. She’s gonna go hang out with her tomorrow. I’m excited for her but nervous for myself. It just sucks that no one else has ever been consistent with my child and it ended up this way. I want my daughter to have positive influence and constants in her life so I’m excited for this journey.

I really told my Mom about it and she was supportive because that means there’s less effort to be expected on her end. She’s never made much anyway but now this gets her off the hook even more. I just don’t know how you could be alright with this as a Grandmother. It’s pretty much bullshit if you ask me but again, you can’t make people care or be involved where they don’t want to be.

I’ll never be okay with people willingly choosing to miss out on my daughter’s life but I accept it too. I know I’ve done everything I could to make things work and now I won’t devote any more energy into toxic people that just don’t care. I want to show my daughter that there’s people that do want to be in her life for the right reasons.

It’s been a pretty good day. I’ve showered, ran and got my medication and I’ve eaten. I’m going to get my kid in a couple of hours because she wanted to stay late today. I’m definitely nervous for tomorrow but I’m just trying to keep in mind that it’s going to be just fine. This is good for my kid to have someone who wants to know her without strings attached and it’s nice for me that I’m able to have someone she can hang out with where it’s not stressful or emotionally taxing for myself.