Decloaking. in Whey and Sonic Screwdrivers.

Told workcrush, “you know I have feelings for you, right?”

She didn’t know.

I said my staff meeting (interior monologue) had gone silent, and felt embarrassed. That I had to say something eventually.

She said it’s nothing to be embarrassed about, and “that shit will eat you up alive.”

I managed to get out how, after our second shift, I had two rapid thoughts. “I think I have a crush on her. Welllll shit.”

How I had a choice between pretending it wasn’t there and being a dick to her. Or just being myself, and trust my character would code me as a non-creep.

How I have this stupid ideal of gold star platonic.

How I didn’t want to interrupt the lives of her kids. How I don’t need to be best friends with her husband to not want to subject him to the pain of losing her.

She told me not to judge myself. Not to fault myself.

So I have feelings, I’m only human.

In years of insecurity in the past, I’d question what things mean. But, her word is good enough. We’re more than workfriends, we’re friends who met at work.

Wish me luck sorting my head out.

PS: took some shots of her with her kids, as moms can never have enough.

PPS: they loved the dinner I made