Hurt & Betrayed. in Since OD is shutting down....

Alright so I ended up working until 11:30 Thursday night and then Friday until 4pm. I needed the hours and wanted to make a little extra cash for the weekend. Yesterday I spent $85 on groceries at Walmart and still need to pay my cable bill and my chair payment. Goodness it never stops.

Okay so I was pretty much over that guy until Friday when I got off work and called my brother who told me that they saw him driving and he waved at them! I was like ok whatever well then later in the evening my brother started blowing up his phone and then he called back when we were at my parents house. He ended up coming over to my brothers house and at this point, I could have cared less to see him. Well, he claims he had gone camping for the week and that he told me about it when I was drunk. Here's the thing, I never get drunk to the point where I don't remember what people say to me and I know I would have remembered him telling me he was going to be gone for the week. Well, later in the night we went out and drove around (that seems to be all he likes to do) and then tells me because we had only known each other for a short time, he didn't feel "obligated" to tell me he was going to be gone! Okay so that's fucked up for so many reasons.

Then, tells me where he lives. Well last night my brother's girlfriend and I got to talking about it after my brother and niece went to bed and we decided to drive by this location and come to find out it's a fucking nail salon! So, that's a lie. We also have discussed how he told me he left on Sunday to go camping but told my brother's girlfriend he left Monday. There's been numerous indications that there's just something not right with this guy.

I told my brother's girlfriend he's lying about shit for a reason. I also almost wonder if he's gay because he likes my brother and has even asked me if things didn't work out if he could still be friends with him and seriously does whatever my brother wants him to do. I also don't think I would have ever heard from him again if it wouldn't have been for my brother blowing up his phone. Then yesterday I didn't hear from him until 10 pm when he asked if I wanted to go to a movie but then said we could go tonight.

This is really heartbreaking to me. It hurts me so bad that I honestly don't care to try to date ever again. I'm so tired of finding the wrong ones. I don't know why this guy is lying to me about things and I don't even care. I don't plan to worry about pursuing him anymore and I hope he just leaves me alone. This whole thing just kills me because I really liked him. I knew when he told me he had trouble trusting people that I should be careful of trusting him too.

I guess I'm just sick of these men who are scared to get hurt and have trouble trusting people but yet are the ones that we need to aware of. I am so tired of hearing this same bullshit and it's like okay you don't think I'm scared?! You have NO IDEA what the fuck I've been through! I've been through more shit than I ever should have allowed in relationships, in which I'm still recovering from and this guy lying to me and dipping out for a week was the last fucking thing I needed!

It just really kills me that my brother wouldn't just leave it alone. I was doing okay with things where they were and yet, my brother had to get it to come back around. I'm not allowing this person into my life anymore. I feel like he's lied and been dishonest enough and already this early in the relationship?! No thanks.

At least all of this came to light this early in the situation so I didn't have the chance to develop real feelings and get massively hurt. I am thankful for that. I just wish I would ever meet a halfway normal guy that could give me what I need.

It just bothers me that I spent time caring about this person and happy to see them and it was all just a fucking joke. I deserve so much better but yet I haven't found it. I'm sick of people saying I'll find someone but I really don't think I ever will. I think I'll be one of those girls that just bounces from one fucked up relationship to the next and I just keep trying because I'm lonely. I will never find the one or anything even close. I give up. I'm mad that I spent my time with my family with this guy in the back of my mind and it was all for nothing. I'm going to think long and fucking hard before I ever try and open my heart again. Fuck getting hurt. I'm tired of that being all I've ever known in relationships. I'm fucking done.

Anyways, leaving for work.