Stressed over this too much in Bittersweet

  • March 11, 2023, 11:50 p.m.
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  • Public

Ok the diet shit is stressing me out so much.
I got really frustrated at my friday weigh in, I still am at the SAME weight for the whole week. She told me i should stop eating the Ground Turkey because its too high in fat. Its 93% 7% fat. She said i should be eating 99/1 And i just about lost it. I just went to the disassociated flat smile. She told me im eating too high a fat diet. Are you kidding me? Friday i had 40 G Thusday i had 34 g of fat, Wed i had 49 G Tues i had 25! Today im at 2! Its low fat!
T made me eat the bacon last night. After we researched MORE about keto again, I was reading how you should have 40-50 g or more of fat a day, too high of protein and not enough fat will kick you out of ketosis. I havent been in ketosis despite eating 500-800 calories like they say and very low carbs. My highest day had like 30. Broccoli has the most carbs of anything I eat BTW. 11 g of carbs her 8 oz. So T says fuck it you are having bacon for dinner, Bacon and 2 eggs. So i did. And i woke up this morning, tested for ketones and was in ketosis. On a 3 of the1-5 scale. Like pretty good.

So he thinks I need more fat. But im here in my ffs, we paid a lot of money to do this diet, I get my b12 shot every Tuesday, i weigh in twice a week. i drink their nasty drinks full of fake sugar.

Then I started reading fake sugar can throw people out of ketosis who are sensitive to fake sugar. Every one of their drinks has fake sugar in it! So I sdidnt have ANY of their drinks yesterday either.

Today I had a protene shake ( not theirs, one of my fav brands with LESS sugar and carbs and more protein then their drinks) A lettuce wrapped chicken patty for lunch and for dinner we are having steak and broccoli. We got a new seasoning we taste tested at sams club and it was GOOD. Its our last bit of steak too. We got a couple prime ribs at Christmas on sale. We cut two into steaks and the other two for Christmas dinner ( and goodbye to my parents dinner) So its our last steak. We have one roast and will be out of beef. I need a sale on beef soon.

But im stressing about this WAY too much. Like its become this huge stress for me. Maybe other people dont become obsessed with peeing on ketone sticks, weighing themselves. calculating every little tiny bit of their macros and calories, I even have a food scale you can plug in the code and it will tell you the nutritional value of the food you put in based on its weight.
Im spending hours researching keto and recipes. I find myself feeling more and more like its an eating disorder. Its triggering things in this I do not like to feel and have not felt in a long time. And after a week of not loosing, I feel like my body has adapted to getting 500-800 calories and has now said fuck it you are done.
So i need to stop worrying, I need to eat some crap and not stress so much over it right now… Because im just collapsing into this stress.

On the plus side, I finally fit into this shirt and this skirt. The top should fit looser, but its still, it fits way nicer then when i started.
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