Positive Feedback. in Since OD is shutting down....

I deeply appreciate everyone’s positive comments on my posts. I’m truly inspired by how nice everyone is and understands where I’m coming from. I definitely get plenty of comments with constructive criticism and also appreciate that as well. For me, I’m a very open minded person and love to hear what others have to say because even if I don’t agree, I will take everyone’s point of view into consideration.

So I’ve spoken to CS and she said that there’s nothing on him stating he’s filed for disability and I’m grateful that’s off the table because I would be super pissed to know that he has income and is still not paying. There was mention of a possibly address out of state and she asked if I thought he was still here and I said yes but anything is possible. Right after finding out I was pregnant, he moved states away so he’s definitely capable of picking up and leaving. I guess she’s going to transfer my case to the capitol because there are able to track down people like this since they have resources that she doesn’t.

I personally believe he’s probably still here unless he’s found someone to freeload off of and even if he did, they’re only going to tolerate for so long because the guy refuses to work so unless you are going to take care of him, he’s going to live off his sister. I would be pretty relieved for him to move away because then I wouldn’t have to worry about him creeping around my house anymore or have to be worried about seeing him around.

My daughter told me this morning she’s happy there isn’t the after school program today and I’m happy too. She’s gone a lot and has really long days so I know she’s tired. I heard in Texas they are moving to 4 days weeks and I’m hoping they do that here. My daughter is still so little and I feel like her days are a lot for her. It’s nice that she has a schedule and everything but the weekends just go by super fast. I just love her and cherish every moment because she’s growing up so fast.

It’s cold here again today but it hasn’t snowed anymore. I got groceries after getting my daughter to school and happy to get it over with. I wanted to get her another pair of black leggings but they didn’t have any left so I’m pissed at myself that I didn’t get an extra pair when we were there yesterday. I may shop around over the weekend because we always need more pants. My daughter is hard on clothes and we always are in need of new stuff so I’m going to check out a couple places.

I’m still thinking about my job program. I don’t know if I’m completely done yet or not. I guess I’m just waiting to see how I feel after Monday. I like the paycheck, I just don’t agree with the program itself and I don’t like giving up my free time and not even getting to shower before I have to be there.

My daughter will be home in a couple of hours so I’m just enjoying my free time until I go get her. I don’t know what we are going to do this weekend as it’s still bitter cold so I’m not trying to be outside or even go to the gym because I don’t like getting all sweaty and then going outside. I’m not sure what we’ll do yet. I’m lowkey hoping my niece will come over.

Anyways, it’s just crazy how many women have gone through the same exact thing. I don’t know how many Tik Toks I’ve seen about baby daddies pulling the same shit mine has. I’m pissed at how many times he’s just used his child as an access point to me and took full advantage of me being the bigger person. I think it’s bullshit that he’s used me many times for my car and the rides I’ve given him at all hours of the day and night in all kinds of weather and still ugly talk me.

I completely understand when they talk about using the kids as access points to the Mom. My SD has done exactly that. It’s also funny how many times he’s said that it’s not about us but about our child and it’s like okay well is it about her when you refuse to be a Dad? Or When you refuse to pay CS? Is it about her when you are calling me names or when you are having people message me to abuse me for you because I have you blocked?! On his end, it’s never been about his child at all, it’s about getting whatever drama he can get out of this situation. It’s always been about her on my end and I’ve tried everything under the sun to reason with him and give him every possibly chance to turn everything around.

I’m now about protecting my peace as well as my daughter’s. I have now closed the door on a very toxic situation and that’s where it’s going to stay. I will not spend another moment explaining my boundaries or why I have them. All these people around him just want to either ignore or encourage his toxic behavior and have absolutely no interest in hearing my side so they can believe whatever it is they want to.

With being a single Mom, I’ve had to have a lot of acceptance. I’ve had to accept that we will never be a family, him and I will never raise our child together, and accept that he’s always going to be a womanizing, lying, mooching, selfish prick. What I won’t accept is people messaging me on his behalf to continue the abuse and disrespect. I think it’s insane that I don’t have anything to do with him and the guy still won’t leave me alone. He doesn’t have to worry about me asking him to see her, take her, or me asking for money and that’s still not enough for him!! The conflict and chaos has gotten pretty old after this many years.

I’m in a really good place with all of this and I will not allow anyone to convince to go down that same dead end road ever again. People need to understand that he doesn’t want to be a Dad, but merely wants to try and stay tied to me for his own selfish, possessive reasons. It’s taken me a really long time to truly understand that this is all a sick game for him and all for his amusement so I will not spend another second trying to get anywhere with this and give him more attention than he’s already received.