Pain. in Since OD is shutting down....

So I’ve had really intense back pain since Friday and it’s getting old. I’ve taken ibuprofen, laid down, did heat and ice, hot baths and nothing is helping. I have PT in the morning and hopefully that will take the edge off at least. I called and double checked the time of my appointment on Monday and they reiterated that I have to have a driver and since my Mom doesn’t follow through with things, I called my Dad and he said he’d take me. I have to get this done. I just want my life back and want to physically be in a better place.

My daughter overheard me on the phone with my friend yesterday before school and heard me tell her that I would have to cancel my PT appointment because of school starting late and then my daughter told me that she could come along and just wait in the waiting room. I felt awful because I don’t want her to ever feel like she’s a burden or I can’t get stuff done because of her, that’s not the message I’m trying to send at all. I’m just so frustrated that outside of school, there’s no one to help with her. I am definitely going to be more mindful of what she’s hearing me say and talk about.

I still find it crazy that people choose to not be involved with my daughter. I seriously think she’s truly a masterpiece. I love how caring she is and how she’s always looking out for others and just has the biggest heart. I couldn’t imagine not wanting to know her. I have always felt she is the greatest kid I have ever known. She just loves everyone and it sucks that people would rather miss out on that because they want to punish me.

My frustrations boil over with never having any help from her Dad, his family, or even my own. It’s upsetting how much I’ve missed out on that would help my daughter and myself because I’m on my own. I just want to be more careful of what my kid hears because I definitely don’t want to hurt her feelings.

I got a message earlier that she’s had a really awesome couple of days at school and I’m always so happy to hear that. I’ve been talking with her more about when kids make her mad to just count to 3 and walk away but also be telling her teacher because if they don’t know something is going on, they can’t help. I’m so glad that she told me the other day that it’s really helped her by counting to 3.

It’s just really frustrating to be in the predicament I’m in where I can’t reach out to anyone in regards to needing help with my kid.