March 7 2023 in The Beginning

I just finished having a discussion with a very good old friend of mine. We were discussing the fact that everyone sees you differently then you see yourself, whether it be a physical attribute or a personality trait. He described me as being a serious person, but when I let my guard down I’m one of the funniest people he knows. Being labeled as “serious’ by others has been an ongoing issue throughout my life. I really don’t see myself as being serious, things rarely bother me because life is too short to hold a grudge. I think people say I’m serious because I’m a quiet individual, I watch rather than speak, I blend into a crowd rather than put myself out. There are multiple reasons for my quietness, some due to being naturally an introvert but other qualities due to my upbringing. Which led to the second part of my discussion; I have no idea who I am.
When my friend asked me about myself, I had no answer. I couldn’t come up with a single thing I like about myself nor any redeeming quality about myself that others would like about me. It doesn’t sadden me in any way, it’s just what it is to me. I suppose I am use to seeing nothing of quality about myself. Like a leaf blowing in the wind.