I dreamed of you from the moment I saw you in And here we go.

Suddenly I’m hit with a tsunami of memories, wave after wave crashing into my being, sloshing inside of me, overcoming all my barriers and the devastating power of these waves washing away everything inside of me.

And I wake up.

Those weren’t memories, those were dreams. How can you have memories of a life you’ve never lived? Yet they felt so real, so personal and felt like a great personal experience.

Are dreams just us existing in a parallel universe? Experiencing life in a different plane of existence?

I wake up, not with a jolt, no sweat, no worries.

The sound of fading waves moving further and farther away.
Feels like I’m waking up on a beach, that’s disappearing right from under me, around me, transforming back into my bedroom, the pristine vastness of it vanishing, giving way to the bedroom walls enclosing around me.

These vivid, almost surreal dreams are back and its fascinating how real they appear, the wind through my hair, the touch of her skin, the sound of her laughter, sitting across that table, I can smell the delicious food we cooked together, water droplets from that chilled lemonade glass feel so cold between my fingers.

And then blink.
I wake up.
The dream fades, at the corner of my eye and I wake up.

All the physical elements are gone, the smells, the salty ocean breeze, the food, but the warmth remains, engulfing me like a blanket, slowly dispersing as I gain conscience.
I keep thinking if I want to pursue for closure only to be disappointed, or end up with devastating realization of never finding any answers.

Do I even have the resources to launch an expedition into this?
Maybe I do. I know I do.

What happens when I find nothing at the end?

What happens when I realize life has taken its toll and I’m too old and tired to be bothered with this struggle anymore?

For now, I’m happy waking up from these dreams just living in my fantasies of us being happy together.

I refuse to acknowledge the reality.

Live your dream beneath the northern horizon
Be at peace, set your heart in flight again
For the light is truth
The light is you

Last updated March 08, 2023