Today in The Crimson Permanent Assurance

I feel like, who is this person I've become? I don't even recognize myself any more. I don't know if this person is better or not. I just want to see a piece of me, to know that I am not so far gone down the rabbit hole. I just don't know anymore. Booze is no longer a refuge, I am as scared of it as I am the days sober. I wish I could tell you who I am now, I wish I knew. I am just trying to raise these kids without doing any more damage than I've already done. I don't remember what it feels like to be comfortable in this skin. But I swear, I am trying, I am trying.