She puts the strange in estranged. in Whey and Sonic Screwdrivers.

Okay, we’re not really estranged.

Today was our one contractually obligated day to spend with each other: taxes.

(That’s sarcasm, people.)

I was expecting to feel all the feels.

Instead I felt… calm. Centered. At ease. As much as there’s all the things I want to tell her, I also still felt okay in the occasional silence. Like an olde friend.

We would say we haven’t bothered getting divorced because we still love each other. We don’t hate each other and throw things at each other. The care is still there.

We may not be dating, but we’re still friends.

After taxes, we hit up Freddie’s for lunch. I husband taxed her fries, as usual. Then Target, she got some bras for her daughter. Then Vintage Stock; I apparently didn’t own the Naked Gun movies. (I do now.)

I got my contractually obligated two minute hug.

I was afraid I’d be really sad when we parted. I’m not nearly as devastated as I thought. Maybe I’m more emotionally stable, hard to say. I do feel more complete with her and around her, however that sounds.

I’ve lived with her, and asked how she’s managing to hold down her relationships. (Poly will poly.) She said, “Very badly”. Ha ha. I brought up workcrush, of course. Being separated for almost three years, and her being poly, there is nothing dramatic or tense about me mentioning I’m into a chick.

Does this mean I’ve been successful in letting go? Hard to say. I do miss her. But that feeling isn’t as dire anymore. I definitely have made progress.

And all the fears that stepdaughter would hate me get hit with a dose of reality when I hear she’s turned her rage on her grandma. Telling her that if she ever has kids, she’s not going to let her see them. That little spitfire, sounds like her. (She’s 11 now.)

One of many reasons I don’t want to get divorced is because I like having the feeling of security that I have someone to fall back on. Just. Someone there.

Because when you strip away the exciting New Relationship Energy and romance, remove the fantastic sex life, what should be left?

Friendship.

Ask yourself how many olde couples don’t even seem to like each other.

Anyway, thought this was postworthy.

Oh, the taxes?

Her employer didn’t withhold enough, so we owe this year. The state refund will cover it, and that’s going in her checking via direct deposit. So, I paid for lunch. : )