Snow day. in Since OD is shutting down....

We are home today due to the amount of snowfall and windchills. They just announced there’s no school tomorrow either so we are staying in at least until Friday. I was supposed to have my injections this morning but I asked my Mom and she wasn’t trying to drag out in the bitter cold and brave the roads to drive me and I wasn’t into it because my daughter would have had to come along and I’d rather her be at school when I get them done. I rescheduled and it’s supposed to be in 3 weeks but I’m going to call my main provider and see if they could get me in somewhere else a bit sooner.

I am so glad I got us what we need to be at home for a few days but sad because I forgot cinnamon rolls when I was at the store yesterday and I don’t have all the ingredients to make some. My daughter woke up this morning wanting them but we just don’t have any. We usually have them on the days there’s no school so next time I’m at the store, I’m going to make sure to buy several tubes of them. I’m just glad that we have plenty of food, toilet paper and we aren’t going to run out of anything.

It’s maddening that this storm had to happen and mess up my injections. I have been looking forward to get some relief for my back pain for quite some time so it really sucks I have to wait longer but safety is my top concern for not only myself but my Mom and my kid. Ugh, I just hate the timing in all of this. I have waited so freaking long and now I have to wait even longer. But I’ll call tomorrow and see if I can get in somewhere sooner.

My friend is on the other side of the state where it’s just as bad. He worked some today but said he was going home before it gets really scary. We have some interstate closed and no flights in and out until at least tomorrow. It’s crazy that people are still driving to drive in this and it’s dangerous as hell!

I’m grateful to have a home and be in where we are safe and warm. I thank God everyday for how blessed I am. I’m also glad I no longer work for that shitty place that would decide we couldn’t close no matter how bad the weather and wouldn’t care if it was unsafe for the staff to be there!! I’m also grateful to not have to drive when the weather is bad. I remember how scary it was before I had a child and now that I’m a Mom, I just hope I never end up at a job like that again! I have to make it back home every single day!!

Oh and I have spoken to deadbeats brother recently. I am definitely careful with him and don’t say much about my private life as I will never trust him because he’s related to that guy. He asked me something the other day if I get help with my rent and I denied it but I wonder if deadbeat has gotten mail in regards to child support because I have gotten financial help with things in the past couple of years but that’s MY business and I will NOT discuss that with someone who’s related to the guy! I just think it’s really rude to ask questions like that, especially in a really high conflict situation such as this one! The guy owes thousands so how about we focus more on that than what I have had to do to make sure my daughter is taken care of!!

I just feel like everyone is more worried about me or what I’ve done wrong than they want to accept the part he’s played in all this. I just think it’s bullshit that I am the one to handle all the barriers and obstacles of a single Mom while this guy takes zero responsibility whatsoever! I’m sitting here trying to make sense of everything and get myself back on track after having no reliable childcare for 2 fucking years all the while I’m a full blown insulin dependent diabetic with a bad back! I thought it was just odd that his brother said something about he didn’t think I worked. Uhmmm what is it of your business?!? I don’t care if this mf says he hates his brother or whatever, I know that he’s still going to have some loyalties to him and could switch up on me at any point! I also don’t like how he’s asked for pictures of my daughter. Why? So you can send them to your brother and he can post them online pretending to be an involved parent like he’s done a thousand times??!

I also think it’s bullshit that he lives like 7 hours away and asked me to pick him up and drive right back for his birthday. So apparently he doesn’t understand that I’m a single Mom and he himself has abandoned 3 children so he doesn’t have the slightest clue what it’s like to be responsible for the people you helped make!!! I also wonder about his motives when all he really wants to do is talk about us having sex and making videos. I think they both just want to make each other mad! Well, I’m not going to have any part in that because all it would do is just make things even worse for my kid. I would be no better than him!! He even said the last time he was here he hung out with deadbeats ex!! Uh, yeah I am not going to participate in a bunch of fucking drama!!

Even yesterday, he called just to talk about having sex and how we will make recordings on his phone and he would delete them. No. Just no. I’m not going to be a player in a very sick game because y’all are jealous of each other! I also am very careful what I say to him because who knows what could happen. I also told him I can’t come get him and drive through the night because my daughter needs sleep and she can’t miss school because if she misses too much, I could end up in deep shit. I also wonder since he didn’t get along with his family last time that he’d ask to stay at my place and expect me to take him back. I just won’t risk any of that. I don’t even want to hang out with him because it would be really bad if deadbeat saw us and that’s why blew him off the last time he was here.

I just can’t stand people that always have drama as an undertone and act like they can’t breathe or function without wanting to piss someone off. I can say I’d love to piss off deadbeat, he would completely deserve it but I’m not going to help the situation be worse for my daughter because I would never hear the fucking end of it. I also find it odd that they both fuck around with the same women and it’s a dick measuring contest. I get it. It’s fucking sad and gross. I also don’t understand why his brother is like this. He lives in a huge sprawling metropolis where he surely can find people to sleep with but comes and visits just to hook up with his brothers ex’s?!?! Like WTF!!

I just don’t like people being in my fucking business. It’s like people are more focused on me and my shit then his when he’s the mf that left me in this predicament!! I just think there’s a time and place for everything and someone’s child support issues aren’t your concern! I don’t care if you are related to the person that doesn’t pay it or even if you are genuinely curious. I find it weird to even ask!! You know damn well that your brother doesn’t pay it so why would you ask the Mom about their financial situation?! That’s just bizarre to me!!